Best Bpd Poems
How do I explain
That my emotions are painful
That happiness is euphoria
That anger is blinded rage
That love borders obsession
How do I explain
That my emotions are my enemy
That sadness is suicidal thoughts
That pain is an agonizing fire that consumes me
That emotions are a hurricane
That merged with a tornado and tear away at my body from the inside out
And eventually, reach the people around me
How do I explain
That my actions aren’t always under my control
That the only thing I can feel
Without wanting to break
Is the pain of my own doing
How do I explain
That everyone leaves when I break
Because if you’re in my vicinity
And don’t head my warnings to leave me alone
I lash out with hurtful words and actions
That’ll hurt and break you down
Only for me to regret them soon after
And take it all out on myself
How do I explain
That being alone when I don’t want to be
Turns into an intense battle
A vicious war with myself
To not break and lash out at the ones I love
And to instead remember to stop and breathe
To process reality rationally
How do I explain
That I can’t do things like everyone else
That the simplest task
Become a life or death situation
That it makes me want to scream
How do I explain
That my mind is broken
And I hope you don’t leave
Because the monsters in me are terrible
And I’m still learning to control them
How do I explain
That I fear the love I’m shown
Even though I crave it
That part of me trusts the people close to me
And another part can’t believe a word they tell me
Tell me how do I explain
The mind that is ruled by different personalities
That all feel the pain of a single disorder
That’s so stigmatized by the world
How do I explain
Borderline Personality Disorder
We don’t just love, we fall so deep into the emotion
that we’re consumed in the feeling,
we’re terrified of the thought of you leaving,
so we leave before you have the chance.
I always thought this was beautiful, until I realised that when its time for us to leave, we aren’t just sad,
we see suicide and destruction as our only option,
we give you the wings of love and the chance
for you to fly away, but if you do, our hearts are left scarred. That’s why we always run first,
because even though deep down we hope you
will catch us, we pretend that turning the world against us was the only option.
Tremendous anxiety is shading her days
Because the past she's lived has shapen her ways
Both good and bad as she's up and down.
She smiles so brightly only later to frown.
She knows yet is confused and right, but wrong
As she's back and forth like a game of ping pong.
She will love, but later push away.
Always extreme measures taken; this is her way.
I hope in the future she will learn to be content
And stops acting so selfish and irreverent.
I know she'll occasionally cry and need to vent
But I just want her to be happy. This is what I meant.
2 hands, 2 eyes, 2 feet
two minds, im
in
two
minds.
double, divide and multiply
how many minds, how many moods
how long for, will i be
in
two
minds.
2 hands, 2 eyes, 2 feet
are you in two minds
To live with
borderline personality disorder
- unpredictable behavior
the balloon can explode at any time
The threshold is low
a flame that cannot be extinguished
01/02/2023
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Bite Size Contest no.60 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Honorable Mention
How do you deal with your own thoughts?
I hide behind a mask,
To ensure no one can see,
See the real me.
Through the smile on my face,
Leads to a dark place.
The darkness is so empty,
So numbing and cold,
I pray day after day,
To love me in my own way.
To help me be me,
Through the pain and the sorrow,
To show me that love is not just borrowed.
To help me see,
That someday I can be free.
So the darkness that's creeping in,
Will someday be no more.
Yet day after day,
The darkness keeps creeping in,
I'm losing myself within myself.
The emotions I once had are slipping away,
The smiles are far and few,
The love I once felt is disappearing,
And the hope I once had,
Is crumbling into piece's,
I feel so alone,
So empty,
So lost,
So meaningless.
I hide be hide a mask.
Animistic descent from sanity
Boorish attitude, sense of lost control
Crawl out of your skin, bloody vanity
Darkness claws like a black hole
Eternal uncertainty wreaks mayhem
Freedom not given, glued to midnight
Glutton of attention, cannot condemn
Hungry for life, all bark and no bite
Insanity placed on my sweating forehead
Justification, she’s just sick
Killjoy I may be, the day I dread
Labels in my throat choke me quick
Meaningless apologies, see from my eyes
Nights of liquid lucidity, a dull mind by day
Oh the pain, its thorns shred my heart and thighs
Persistent thoughts, worries carried away
Question my identity, a woman without a face
Remember happiness, a fleeting memorial
Scars on my ribs, my heart’s knives trace
Tears on my face, struggles sensorial
Ugly feelings of hate, daily reprise
Veins of ice or so it feels, words tongue-tie
With echoing sighs my dream dies
Xenolith, smile covered, stifled outcry
Yearning for a hand to hold on to
Zealous recovery, fail and reverse
I don't know
why I stayed
when I knew I deserved better.
You made me feel
as though
I was overreacting,
and selfish.
You said I don't drown
in an ocean
I stick my face in a
puddle.
You say the waves that crash
into me
are only cars
driving over puddles.
You told me I was faking it.
I believed you
and coped
with alcohol and drugs.
I got rid of you.
I still feel like I'm
faking,
overreacting,
lying,
like I don't deserve better.
feel so heavy,
Weighed down by an anchor
No one can physically see.
I'm expected to be okay
To live a normal life
While dealing with a
chemical imbalance,
An emotional disturbance
Whose presenting symptoms are
Self destructive binges
And manic tangents
That have labeled me reckless
And often left me stranded.
I dive head first into
Waves crashing
Tearing it's way through
The walls I've built.
My fortress is unstable
There are weak spots
And some stains have
Remained.
These walls sometimes feel
Like they are 40 miles tall
And forged of steel
In that very moment
I feel so alone...
When surrounded by people
When introduced to anyone or anything new,
When one those new additions
causes changes to the flow
Of things
Who Dares to get too close or
challenge the authenticity
Of my disorders
By questioning my mental state.
Surely,
There's truth to the trauma,
Or it wouldn't continuously bother me
Causing catastrophic events,
Filling my head with memories
that never seem to end.
My mind short
Is there something wrong with me
Do I ruin lives
Am I the one
Who is to trusting
Who deserves pain
To hurt
To be mistreated
Do they mean well
Do they really want the best for me
Do they really love me
Or am i just a stepping stone
To be walked on
To be used
That's what it feels like
I cant escape
I want to cry
I cant let go of the pain
The suffering
The hurt
I feel everyday
I know there is something wrong with me
Disgust
Guilt
Fear
I felt dirty
Trapped in 2006
Experiencing the cold floor
Seeing from a 3rd person view
While feeling from a first person experience
I could not leave
I was stuck in a memory
Of unbelievable horror
14 years later
Haunted by the actions
Of someone I trusted
I loved
Betrayed in an instant
borderline
between what may i ask?
floating whilst the clock ticks by
tears on the night of your life
pain in pleasure
pleasure in pain
doors closed
the slams still echo in your brain
in-prisoned by your own name
dust scatters over where you lay
an endless impossible escape you planned at 5
imprints of those who held you tight
just to leave you in the night
sky’s are blue but your mind is grey
it makes no sense why you feel this way
but at least you know borderline is where you stay
there is safety in that pain
I’m sitting all alone with this empty hole inside,
I can’t seem to stop thinking “it’s always me, I’d rather die”. The voices surround me, crying out my biggest fears. As I sit staring blankly at the wall my eyes are filled with tears. Sometimes I feel no emotion, sometimes I’m filled with dread. I’m angry at myself, but it’s all inside my head. I find it hard to function everyday of my life, Will the time ever come where someone wants me as their wife? I’m very hard to deal with when my moods are up and down. One minute I want to party and the next I want to drown. The doctors think I’m crazy, my family thinks I’m mad. And this is why I like to be alone, is it really all that bad?
Tablet after tablet, nothing seems to get better
The impulsive thoughts inside my mind, my face is getting wetter. Will it ever pass? Will I ever cope? this is BPD. I can’t control my actions. It’s taking over me. One day I’m hoping I’ll wake up and it will all just float away. It’s time to take life day by day and pray I’ll be ok. But until the day I feel normal, I have to keep my head held high. Because I have my whole life left, and I’m to young to die.
All the following are true: you love him.
He loves you.
You are not ready to be loved like that.
He confesses how long he’s looked for a place to worship and, oh, you put him on his knees.
On his knees for you, how long will it take before you’re back to his level? Collapsing onto the floor of a college dorm, you bleed and he cries.
But you’re both on your knees, and in the winter of your lives, the warmth is all that matters.
It is murder, but all that matters is that he agreed to hold you as he slit your throat
It’s so hopeless.
I try so hard to be strong, because I know the people around me need somebody to be.
But how much stronger can I be when I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Peace is like a foreign concept to me.
I’ve had fleeting moments of happiness, but without fail, are always followed by a storm of pain and suffering.
When does it end?
When do I get to cry on someone's shoulder?
When will someone notice my pain without having to tell them?
Hopelessness doesn’t even describe what I am feeling.
I wake up in excruciating pain every morning and yet it goes unrecognized.
You can’t see my pain.
Most of the time I can’t decide if it’s real or fake.
But it’s there.
What I wouldn’t give for someone to acknowledge my presence.
Acknowledge a statement I made or a simple good morning back.
Yet, without fail, my words flow through the earth like a wandering ghost, never
to be seen or heard from again.
So, tell me, if I am to be a ghost while alive...
What would happen if I were to truly fade away?