Walls, a Mental Illness Memoir

feel so heavy, Weighed down by an anchor No one can physically see. I'm expected to be okay To live a normal life While dealing with a chemical imbalance, An emotional disturbance Whose presenting symptoms are Self destructive binges And manic tangents That have labeled me reckless And often left me stranded. I dive head first into Waves crashing Tearing it's way through The walls I've built. My fortress is unstable There are weak spots And some stains have Remained. These walls sometimes feel Like they are 40 miles tall And forged of steel In that very moment I feel so alone... When surrounded by people When introduced to anyone or anything new, When one those new additions causes changes to the flow Of things Who Dares to get too close or challenge the authenticity Of my disorders By questioning my mental state. Surely, There's truth to the trauma, Or it wouldn't continuously bother me Causing catastrophic events, Filling my head with memories that never seem to end. My mind short