Best Bowser Poems
Draped and locked like a curtain in Guantanamo
I use my words to peel scalps like Geronimo
Just like a teen girl my mouth has a heavy flow
If arousal luminesces then I'll make you glow
They're calling me a villain cuz I steal girls like Bowser
Wowzer, think I just filled my trousers
Though unlike the lizard I don't lose them to Italians
Cuz after one night girls confuse me for a stallion
Heart of obsidian inlaid with gold
A tongue of adamantium that stays so cold
My life is a story that's never been told
And I'm hoping that the credits roll before I get old
At the risk of being called “rabble-rouser,”
I think poor old Barky Von Schnauzer,
should practice his aim,
his master to maim,
in the back end of his very best trousers!
My hero I would call dear old Barky,
if he could just muster the stealth of a sharky,
and covertly steer,
right straight for the rear,
of that great big old bag of malarkey!
I think I should send Barky a big four leaf clover,
so his bad luck would finally be over,
he could retire his fame,
move away, change his name,
to Bowser maybe Lassie or Rover!
Obviously I have been driven completely insane by that stupid t.v. commercial!
Happy St. Paddy's Day!
11/17/16
He did not hit no home run, it was a grounder
How many cabinets or counters
Have some sort of white powder
Many meals cooked with flour
Familiar with the Two Towers
As well as Wario and Bowser
Head up, regardless of any times being dour
Nagivating around sharp objects that could be eye gougers
In certain waters, swim flounder
Certain individuals working as a bouncer
Or with web browsers
And many more, but I'm not going to name them all like an announcer
Some just want the money and power
She wanted exotic flowers
And a dog that was a schnauzer
Objects being restored and scoured
On a planet with unexplained mysteries and strange encounters
There is so much you can do in twenty four hours
See for yourself unless you want to be a doubter
This place by the ocean has some of the best chowder
Classic like "Wallace and Grommit in the wrong trousers"
Nocturnal hunters and night prowlers
Wolves are quite the growlers and howlers
By black holes matter being devoured
That which does not can ouster
I always like rain and thunder showers
Girl, of you I could not be prouder
I'll buy, now let's go get some sweet and sour
By: Dalton Ogletree
Bowser and Mittens, Pooh, Fluffy and I
sat with the Queen for her afternoon tea.
Minding our manners, all silent and shy -
each of us awestruck by Her Majesty.
We all were rescues, she loved us in spite,
though we were commoners, she took us in;
loved us and fed us each morning and night,
asked how our day was and where we had been.
Sought our advice on all matters of state -
whether she ought to play hopscotch or jacks,
make paper dolls, or perhaps roller skate -
always she'd come back to us to relax.
She was the Queen, but did not condescend,
took time to play with us under her tree.
Though it's been years now that she's been our friend,
we all remember our first "Royal Tea"
Written 3 Nov 2021
Andrea stirred a memory that exploded in my mind with her outstanding "Kokopelli" poetry.
Here is our Tammany Yacht club member Kyle Bowser attempting to retrieve Kokopelli as he balances himself atop a ladder in 16' in harbor Water. The wood you see is from blown away homes. If Only! Kyle could grab just one of those lines!
If you own a boat then you know what heartbreak feels like. Kyle took all the back roads to escape the 'YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE POLICE!" Nothing can stop any of us from getting to our boats when they need us! NOTHING...
Thanks Andrea for the memory.....
Mario is just a game
that has caused me a lot of pain
get so close and then you die
wish that italian could fricken fly
bowser is fricken rude
no one can even stand that dude
he eats so much he has a 7 foot back
i wish he would have a heart attack
so mario ain't no freakin fun
so once i beat it i'm done.
I HAVE A LITTE SECRET TO TELL BUT WHO I CAN I TRUST, I LOVE TO HATE YOU AND HATE TO LOVE
YOUR LUST. FOR YOU ARE MY ENEMY BUT YET I GIVE YOU MY TRUST. SO PLEASE DON'T TELL MY
SECRET KEEP IT IN FROM DAWN TO DUST!
I HAVE A LITTLE SECRET BUT IT'S FOR ME AND MINE, I WILL TELL YOU THIS SECRET JUST WAIT FOR
THE TIME.
BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE SECRET I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN BE, BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF HOW YOU
WOULD LOOK AT ME. FOR THE THINGS I'VE DONE; YOU JUST MIGHT SET ME FREE, THAT'S WHY THIS
SECRET MUST REMAIN DEEP INSIDE OF ME!
I HAVE A LITTLE SECRET AND I NEED TO LET GO, BUT THIS LITTLE SECRET PUTS ON A HELL OF A
SHOW. WHEN YOUR NOT AROUND AND THE THINGS THAT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE
SECRET, DO I LOVE YOU I JUST DON'T KNOW! NOW I'M BACK TO MY LITTLE SECRET SHOULD I LET IT GO?
I HAVE THIS LITTLE SECRET THAT'S KILLING MY HEART, BECAUSE OF MY SECRET WE MIGHT DEPART;
AND KNOWING THAT IT JUST HURTS MY HEART. I'M SORRY THAT I'M DRIFTING AWAY AND KEEPING YOU
IN THE DARK. BUT ME WITHOUT YOU WOULD JUST TARE ME APART. THAT IS WHY THIS SECRET IS A
BURDEN ON MY HEART!
I HAVE THIS LITTLE SECRET THAT I NEED TO TELL, BUT IF I SAY MY SECRET WOULD YOU TELL ME
FAREWELL? BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE SECRET MY LIFE A LIVING HELL, BUT I HAVE THIS LITTLE
SECRET AND NO ONE TO TELL. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HEAR GOODBYE OR FAREWELL.
THIS SECRET OF MINE I WISH I COULD TELL TO YOU, BUT WHAT IF YOU HAD YOUR OWN LITTLE SECRET
TO; WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WOULD YOU TELL YOUR MATE THE ENTIRE TRUTH, OR WOULD YOU SAY THAT'S
SOMETHING I JUST CAN'T DO? BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT THAT HELL TO BROUGHT BACK TO YOU, THE
FACT THAT IT'S OVER AND YOU TWO ARE THROUGH. SO WHY CREATE A SECRET THAT WILL DESTROY THE
THINGS THAT MEAN THE MOST TO YOU?
MY LITTLE SECRET BY: CLARENCE B. BOWSER JR. THE III
“Hi, hi, how are ya?” Bowser seemed to say
When Jake came home from work each day
Work went fine, but when Jake stepped inside
He turned from Doc Jekyll to Mr. Hyde
Clean laundry was scattered about the floor
Silk curtains weren’t hanging anymore
The lid on his crock pot had been removed
All over the pot roast Bowser had drooled
Paw prints left scratches on the toilet seat
Holes in his waterbed doused the torn sheet
Jake had lost women because of the stench
Of dirty old dog in the couch entrenched
And hairs that stuck to black, sexy attire
Had proved a sure way to quench gals’ desire
Poor Jake had now reached the end of his rope
Unforgiving, he no longer could cope
The dog had been bored, but that’s no excuse
He’d caused more havoc than a herd of moose
Jake stayed calm, Bowser didn’t hear him grouse
But he was sentenced to life in the dog house
Never say Never!!! By: Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III
Never say goodbye, because I plan to see you again. Even through death, my life doesn’t
end it begins.
Never let this life just past you bye, I just pray that through your eye’s I never die!
Never let this life get the best of you, because no matter what God is always standing next
to you!
Never allow this message to be taking away, for within you my love will always stay!
Never be ungrateful for this moment here on earth!
Even if this moment fills like it’s nothing but pain and a curse.
Never forget what was given to you, Jesus Christ died so God will see you through!
Never be ashamed to speak about my name, because even in heaven my love remains the
same.
Never let the enemy take: what you have given to me, for it was a promise of love that you
promised to keep!
Never keep me away from your heart, because even the darkest of demons couldn’t keep us
apart!
Never say never because you said never twice, just praise the Lord for giving me this life!
Never say never without thinking it through, just remember that no matter what happens my
love will never change, it will always stay pure and true!
Never just throw me away and keep me in the dark, because forgetting about me would be
the only thing that would tear me apart! So keep me inside of your prayers for everyday that
starts! That way I know that I will always be close to your heart!
R.I.P to those no longer with us!
You will forever be missed!!!
Amen&Amen!!!
Medical Insurance for Bowser
By Elton Camp
While millions of human lack medical care
Access to pet medical is growing out there
About his insurance program, Petplan USA,
Its founder, a real dog lover, had this to say
“When we were in college without much dough,
Our precious cat fell ill. We had to save her though.”
A $5,000 bill came from the emergency that day
While in their budget there wasn’t enough to pay
Petplan USA, for a $350 annual premium charge
Pays up to $20,000 if medical fees get that large
“People will do most anything to save their pet,
So selling this insurance has proved a safe bet.”
Also to find are several other agencies out there
For any of those who for pet insurance do care
In the USA, in total about $550 million is paid
So Fido, prematurely in his grave won’t be laid
Take my hand and hold it tight, as you sleep throughout the night.
Let this light not pass you bye, in my heart you'll never die.
There must be something that I can do, just to show that my love is ture!
I wish there was something that I could say, please proctect my baby in every way!
Sleep now and let this pain just past, tomorrow my not come but today never last.
As I look onto my baby face, there has to be a better place!
No more pain for you and I, as my life ends I'll say goodbye!
I never meant to treat you so wrong, don't worry cause this pain won't last for to long.
When you awake you'll be without me, I failed you as a father so this is how it has to be!
I've traded my life for worthless things, thats why your new life will be better than it seems!
I lived my life full of hate, but because of you, you have change my fate!
How can I be a better man, my baby is dieing and he needs a helping hand.
My baby needs a new heart right here and now, that's why I'm willing to lay my life down!
I wish it could have been another way, but I'm the only one who can take that pain away.
I'll sacrifice my life to make you happy, so don't worry bout me because I'm only napping!
Sleep now and hold my hand tight, just know that daddy love you with all of his might!
Now its time for me to sleep, as I fill my body getting weak!
I will sleep now and forever more, but it was your love that gave me so much more!
I'm happy to do this just for you, so I'll say goodbye and I love you too!
Sleep Now... By Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III
My dog ate my homework. Really he did!
‘Cause he's a bad dog and I'm a good kid!
I really love math class and my teacher's a whiz
It's truly not my fault that I flunk every quiz.
‘Cause the new math is funny. It's really a bore.
Since when did a seven become the new four?
But back to my homework ‘cause that’s where I started
It all had begun when my crazy dog farted.
So I ran from the room as though I’d been banished
And when I returned, my homework had vanished!
I did all the problems, really I did!
Remember I told you that I’m a good kid?
So that is my story and I’m sticking to it.
What bright kid like me would want to go through it?
I know that my story is really a wowzer
But just ask my dog and his name is Bowser
Please Forgive Me…
By: Clarence B. Bowser Jr. III
Please forgive me upon this day, I need you to guide and lead me on my way, for the devil
may come and try to lead me astray, and if that happens he might take me away!
Please forgive me if my pain so deep, if it’s my nightmares that keep me from getting any
sleep!
Please forgive me for being blind, I will accept your teaching but in do time!
Please forgive me right here and now, if my pride is too high and I refuse to bow!
Please forgive me for all that I say, for if it’s not pleasing and it comes out the wrong way!
Please forgive me for all that I’ve done, for I am no perfect but yet I try to be like your only
Son!
Please forgive me for the things that I might do, for I am seeking for Your love and don’t
know what to do.
Please forgive me for if no one understands, but I’m doing my best to become a better man.
Please forgive me as my day begins, for I know with your help the devil won’t win, and it was
Jesus Christ who died for my sins.
Please forgive me for thinking only of my self, when I know that are more people how needs
your help!
Please forgive me for I’m not trying to boast, please have mercy my Father the King of Host!
Please Forgive Me: Amen and Amen
By: Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III
I Cry… By: Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III
I cry because I’m sad, because I’m going to miss your laugh, and the good we had.
I cry because I’m happy, although your gone God said not to worry because to Him you’re
just napping!
I cry because you have left me alone, but I know it was God’s purpose that He called you
Home!
I cry because you are no longer by my side, but because of the love of your spirit I will not
let you die.
I cry because I’m very grateful, for the love you gave to me I’m very thankful!
I cry because I know that tomorrow is not promise, but it is you your self that I’m going too
miss!
I cry for those that can’t cry no more, your love in my heart in which I will store.
I cry for those that have been placed under the dirt, so if I never get a chance I’ll say I love
you for what it’s worth.
I cry because the pain is so deep, but I shall cry no more because God said He will watch
over you even in you darkest of sleep!
I cry for now because you were as pure as gold, your love could never be bought or sold,
and for that God told me that He would take care of you soul!
I cry right now because this is the end, so in my heart I’ll keep my dearest of friend! And until
we meet again in heaven above, here on earth is where I shall keep your love!!!
I Cry… To Be Continued!!!
By: Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III
I have everything at home, but yet I cheat and leave my love all alone.
This girl is new to my world and brings me such peace, she cooks me food and rub my back
when I fall asleep!
She is sweet and kind, with a love so pure that is so hard to find!
She is everything that I would want a women to be, but for some reason I still seem to cheat!
She's a great woman and there's no lie about that, I do believe this woman will always have
my back!
But I'm caught in world surrounded by lust, she gave me her heart and I destoryed her trust!
I have no good reason so I'll tell you no lie, it was just something new that I wanted to try!
You asked me why I cheated on you, I gave you no reason just said that I truly love you!
And if you take back it will never happen again, not understand that I just killed my best
friend, from deep with in!
I crushed her heart and shatter her dreams, because my love for her was just a fling!
Now its time for my to pay, I wish I could take away that day!
The day I said I love you too, when I know deep in my heart that those lines just wasn't true!
Now its' to late and the game is up, she's done with my stuff and said she had enough!
Now I must say goodby, to what was once a good life but a terrble lie!
Even to the end I never gave you a good reason, why my love changed like the seasons!
So why do guys cheat, thats a good question to know, maybe the ones that cheat will one
day let us know!
Why do guys Cheat By Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III