Best Lost Lovegod Poems
(For Ryland Matthews' My Darkest Hour Contest)
Blank Tombstone
by Audonus Taylor
A blank tombstone
rests above deceased me,
As I dream of a future
far as any being can see,
No flower arrangements,
Not a rose seals my tomb,
No inscription of immortality
No "loving father" or "beloved groom",
Does such lack of bereavement
reflect me as mean and vicious?
No, tis the respect of the
deceased's eccentric wishes,
As family and friends shed
tears enough to swallow,
Bidding farewell to a heart
impenetrable and hallow,
For tomorrow never comes
to hearts heaven cannot reach,
For life has stripped away my faith
Never again will my soul be breached,
No paradise awaits my name,
For I am a non believer as I roar,
Away from me, did god decree,
my angel should forever soar,
Thus I chose to fade to nothingness
Or, be it so, the depths of hell,
Now, her wedded bliss to another
proves god's love as a fairy-tale,
She loves me not, he loves me less,
is the truth I shall forever concur,
Blankness reflects more than my name,
And a god would know what I am without
Her...
when beauty met the beast
she was a cutie, he was a beast
she thought that she would speak to him
and find out what made
the beast, a beast
as the beast looked at her
he wondered; what a feast
but the way she spoke to him
made gentleness and curiosity increased
he found her some what pleasant
and laid his aggression aside
for now he'd grown accustom
and hoped she would abide
as time past he looked at her
as he never did before
tender conversations
brought his knees to the floor
she'd become his weakness
his task forever more
he liked to hear her voice
and see her walking through the door
on holidays there were presents
on birthdays a feast
each special day that brought her presence
was a holy day to say the least
now i am wholly human
and i can tell you well
that jealousy fits us humans
and beast very well
one look at competition
can take us all to hell
we can never avoid perdition
when one other than God
we our souls sell
and from God comes the testing
old men and prophets tell
the beast asked God for patience
and God knows how to teach it well
the next time the beast see's beauty
there is a ring on her hand
he didn't care to mention it
but that was one thing he couldn't stand
worn down he ask her
what the ring meant on her hand
slowly she confided, it meant she'd
marry another man
the beast now was furious
he did not understand
that all these years confiding
he was suppose to be the man
what then would become of her
his conscious did demand
all the years he spent with her
were coming to an end
yet love had one more service
his heart would command
tell the maid he loved her
and ask her for her hand
let all the powers of wickedness
and goodness take their stand
upon this maids answer
i'll bravely take my chance
Curse the day i am denied a glimpse of you,
hate people who talk bad about you,
bless the day God blessed me with you,
life would be worthless without you,
life would have no meaning without you,
my source of inspiration are you,
words can't explain how proud i am of you,
i know i am gonna grow old on you,
my existence is unknown to you,
for which i am so ashamed of you,
life would have been easier without you,
would have a job besides thinking about you,
hate to get up knowing i can never be with you,
know i will never get over you,
if only God created more like you,
i wouldn't be so miserable without you,
won't know these tears without you,
no end to my fears without you,
why am i not made for you?
God wanted me to live without you,
may there be another life with you,
wish i could touch and kiss you,
wish you knew how much i miss you,
friends with the shining star are you,
gone forever to be with God are you,
people say i must forget all about you,
tell me things so i can hate you,
but i am so crazy that i.....love you.
Who has stolen my heart, a love that cannot be extinguished. My heart is desperate
to love him and yet he does not love me, Why? He was the one who ran after me,
and I fell for him, and now that he no longer wants me: The world should end. How
do I go on knowing he does not belong to me, but my heart belongs to him, which
he does not want. I no longer see spectrum of wonderful and vibrant colors of life,
but only black and white. Life seems meaningless everything should be become
lifeless. I feel lost in the midst of my confused emotion - I am lost in the sea of
unbridled love for a man I do not know, and I also do not know how to be loved by
one. How I yearn to be hugged and kissed with so much passion that would make
me lost in his strong arms forever. When is he going to melt my heart with his, or am
I hoping for the impossible to be love by him.
How my heart belongs to him... where are you my secret admirer. God made me
loved him so he should love me back, please because my heart will stop beating
because I lost his love. Please save me Jehovah God because I am sinking in the
sea of despair by him not showing me love, so God where is my life's buoy or better
yet my 'secret admirer.
I Cry… By: Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III
I cry because I’m sad, because I’m going to miss your laugh, and the good we had.
I cry because I’m happy, although your gone God said not to worry because to Him you’re
just napping!
I cry because you have left me alone, but I know it was God’s purpose that He called you
Home!
I cry because you are no longer by my side, but because of the love of your spirit I will not
let you die.
I cry because I’m very grateful, for the love you gave to me I’m very thankful!
I cry because I know that tomorrow is not promise, but it is you your self that I’m going too
miss!
I cry for those that can’t cry no more, your love in my heart in which I will store.
I cry for those that have been placed under the dirt, so if I never get a chance I’ll say I love
you for what it’s worth.
I cry because the pain is so deep, but I shall cry no more because God said He will watch
over you even in you darkest of sleep!
I cry for now because you were as pure as gold, your love could never be bought or sold,
and for that God told me that He would take care of you soul!
I cry right now because this is the end, so in my heart I’ll keep my dearest of friend! And until
we meet again in heaven above, here on earth is where I shall keep your love!!!
I Cry… To Be Continued!!!
By: Clarence B. Bowser Jr. the III
A Feeling of Despair ,The Choking Sobs
an Image of Being Trampled under a Mob.
Constricted Breathing, out of Control
a Feeling of Forever These Moments Stole
Darkness Settles, No Happy Thoughts,
the Battles over Before its Even Fought.
Clouds Drift in ,I Feel the Pain.
I Stand Destroyed in Your Domain
On the Edge of a Chasm, Inviting Cold
Hating Who I Am, a Man with No Soul.
Can You Hear My Cries of Anguish and Despair,
to Live or Die Do I Even Care?
I Know it Sounds Crazy, Not My Usual Peace.
But What to Do with Myself after this Six Year Lease
. Words Spoken to God Mean Nothing Anymore
I Spoke You Spoke Still You Walked out the Door.
How Do I Maintain My Guise as a Man
When Behind Closed Doors I Sift Away like Sand
.To Pick up and Continue What Is the Use?
I Had a Great Woman I Lost Her, I Deserve All Abuse.
I Prayed for Us Daily to God from Above,
And for What Because Evidently There Is No Such Thing as True Love.
I don't know exactly what I am feeling, Numbness maybe so;
But deep inside I feel a pain, one I have yet to know.
I thought our love was meant to be, blessed by God himself on high;
Now in my heart there is only bitterness, and tears they fill my eye.
Seventeen years I have been blessed, to have you by my side;
as my friend and soul mate, with whom I could confide;
But now my world is shattered, my life taken before my very eyes;
Your heart to me it seems so cold, love for me it seems has died.
Maybe this is all Im worth, maybe my karma has caught up to me;
maybe God has turned his back, and cursed now I must be.
I have never felt such pain, stabbing my heart to my very soul;
breaking me down from my very core, and gouging a deep dark hole.
I now pray daily, that I can just get past the pain;
To the anger bitterness and rage, so I can again feel sane.
For I now fear the future, alone it seems I now must be;
Depression is starting to take a hold, my mind is no place for me
IN MY POET'S EYE
I can't say, where you are tonight.
I can't say, our love would have turned out right.
I don't know, but I do know,
you are still my love.
Every night I find I still reach for you.
Any time I pray, I still pray for you.
I don't know the reason,
But I know you're still a part of me.
In my poet's eye, I still see you here.
In my poet's world, I still feel you near.
I don't know the reason,
but I thought God meant this love to be.
I don't know the reason,
but I thought God meant our love to be.
In my poet's mind, you are mine again.
In my poet's heart you are here again.
In my poet's eye, you'll always be my love.
Every night I find I still reach for you.
I don't know the reason,
But I know you're still a part of me.
In my poet's eye, you'll always be my love.
In my poet's eye, you'll always be my love.
In my poet's eye, you are still my love.
I would have listened to you
scream, and hear the songs you ate.
I would have held your hand when
all the drugs wore away. God forgive
me, for being this bad child, but god
you know I loved him....oh you know
I do.
As that night wore down, and with
all my tears, I knew I would never
have you back, but that forever I
could be yours. Pleading never
slowed you down, and my tears
were just an after pain for you. No
more than a punch to the face, and
i'm sure you knew what you were
going to lose.
God forgive me for being this bad
child...but god you know I loved
him...dear god you know I do.
I keep waiting for the wish I made at
the same time twice, everyday. The
wish that made us never ending.
The time I can't bear to know I'm
living in twice a day now, without
you. I want my body to always be
sleeping, when I have dreams with
you. I find sometimes that you're
almost there which makes me sure
I'm in some of your dreams too. I
miss your tongue, because mine is
sharp and bloody. I miss your lips
that called my name, and whispered
when you loved me. Your skin was
always one of my favorites, oh the
many times it made me feel...but
god fogive me for knowing that i'm
lost now as this small girl.
God forgive me....please help me
home, back to his arms I love. They
were my favorite, carressed and
loved me, god i'm such a horrid
child.
Please forgive me for, oh my god
you knew I loved him, as much as I
still do.
Ours has never been a fortuitous friendship,
For God ordained that it should be.
While absent, you were akin to a sonar blip,
That God knew I couldn't hear or see.
But on a blustery day at His command,
From an inquisitive heart, we were lettered.
The days once enumerated as grains of sand,
Were exiled and a love was unfettered.
Apart, we existed as candles without flame,
While distanced by that thief I'll call time.
Being friends with you borders a playground game,
Void of rules and without reason or rhyme.
I oft thank God for reaching into your heart,
Placing there, a reason, to give us thought.
Our friendship was granted a fresh new start,
Through God's grace, and because you sought.
Dedicated to Shirlene on the first anniversary
of her return to our lives. What a joy she has been.
My friend the day you found me I was feeling mighty low, no money in my pockets, and no
place for me to go,
the rain was falling hard and the streets were real dark,
a heavy weight was on my mind and pain was in my heart,
I'd walked for many lonely nights and even lonelier days,
rehearsed in my head a thousand times if I found her what I'd say,
upon the bench I found some rest my head held in my hands,
the faded photograph I'd kept slipped quietly to the ground,
the need to live escaping me, the need was always her,
my love, my heart, my everything, my best-friend, my girl!
I replayed the days we spent together, the laughter and the fun,
the tenderness of each others arms when our love had just begun,
as I sat and remembered you, your face, those eyes I loved,
tears washed with winter rain, where are you my lost love?
As if in a dream yet wide awake this angel did appear,
and asked me why I sat and cried, why so many tears?
I could not look upon her face my sadness held me still,
yet she understood without a word to live I'd lost my will,
she placed her hand upon my own and with such a tender grip,
her fingers touched my face as she kissed me on my lips,
"I forgive you for the past mistakes, honestly I do, see I've been searching for you also,
I remember too"
I had been to such an awful place
felt misery and pain
I thank God for the night you came back to me
I thank God for Angel Rain