Best Boar Poems


What a Boar - Limerick Contest

There was a man with a shovel
Whose house was a relative hovel
Digs a hole in the floor
Think his dad was a boar
Cos he cant stop sniffing for truffle



Penned 17 August 2013

The Boar of Dumm - a Jabberwocky Parody

'Twas later in the afternoon

When the work of the day was done:

Many sat waiting for the moon,

Idly twiddling their thumbs.



'Beware the Boar of Dumm, my son!

The eyes that dull, the yawns that tire,

Beware the slowing steps, do run

Or to great things, you'll not aspire.'



He took his hardy tome in hand:

His father's words he did then heed --

So climbed he up into a tree,

There he began to read.



And there the hours sped quickly past

'Till the last light of day did fade

And when he closed his book at last

A discovery was made!



The Boar of Dumm! Beneath the tree!

Unable to reach him, it fell

Onto its side, and there it died,

And thus lifted the spell.



'And hast thou beat the Boar of Dumm?

Oh tell me, for it must be true!

For the ones it takes are many,

Those who defeat it, few.'



'Twas later in the afternoon

When the work of the day was done:

The shouts of joy did ring out soon,

For o'er the Boar he had won.

Our Boar Head Bar Maiden

How lovely you are our Boar Head bar maiden
We fancy your red -long curly hair
For a grin we are treated when you bend at our table
To wipe away- our spilt dark brewed beer

Pour us another you lovely young maiden
Pour us another-a dream in a mug
We whistle and giggle with eyes wide open
For we all are here to cheer (to cheer)
For we all are here to cheer

You wipe round and round -wearing such low blousing
Exposing your bosom with laughter 
Our eyes do widen as our hearts do a spyen
Of the twins in your horn of plenty

Pour us another you lovely young maiden
Pour us another-a dream in a mug
We whistle and giggle with eyes wide open
For we all are here to cheer (to cheer)
For we all are here to cheer

So we sing this song of our Boar Head bar maiden
Who fills our bellies with pints of dark ale 
For on our journey home -we will sing this happy song
Of your bosom our hearts are thus clinging 

Pour us another you lovely young maiden
Pour us another-a dream in a mug
We whistle and giggle with eyes wide open
For we all are here to cheer (to cheer)
For we all are here to cheer


Tracey and the Boar

An apology to Tracey Emin for "Not Feeling Tracey's Badger"

Tracey and the Boar

I woke this morn regretting it
Saying Tracey’s Owl is s**t!
With one mean and sarky jerk
I cast aspersions on her work
The opinion that I hold of Tracey:
Brave and bold and rather racy
I’m just jealous of her balls
And that she has her stuff on walls
The girl’s been doing it for years
Painting truth through joy and tears
An artist’s path is long and rough
What right have I to knock her stuff?
The animals were pretty cute
(I swear I heard the Owl hoot)
Hands up, Tracey, I repent
For you are truly Eminent

If I were Tracey I would draw
This sorry poet as a Boar

by Gail

Wild Boar

A wild boar came into town
because he felt so alone
he rampaged some doors and entered a home
to find some food in the kitchen




I came across the story in a newspaper and it really happened in Bavaria. 
Police came and thought it was a thief, but then they found tracks of the boar. 
Nobody saw him and that fellow disappered into the forest after he found food in a
restauran's kitchen and in a private home

A Rabid Boar (Footle)

Bloody gore!
Wild boar!


For "Footle Fright" contest by Donna Golden


A Huge Boar

Well, how to say, the story begins well, I go on a path (wide enough for a tractor), 20 meters long, which leads to a field (I had never had the curiosity to go there, but I pass in front every time I walk in Plougastel)There, surprise, a young doe crosses the field, for info a field of straw, with rectangular bales of hay, she stops calmly to graze, she looks in my direction, I think she sees me, but does not seem to fear my presence, I am half hidden behind low bushes; Begins a strange ballet, she eats for five seconds, raises her head, and repeats the process approaching less than twenty meters from me, I am excited, she is not afraid, and yet she goes back the other way, always skirting the embankment, quietly, grazing raising the head, even rubbing the pelvis at one moment, like a cat (forgive the lengths), and then moving away very slowly, grazing, raising the head, up to the East end of the field, I take my time, I am not in a hurry, the scene lasts twenty five minutes, when I decide to leave, well I took it, then I see less than a dozen meters a huge boar, (a beast what) walking in my direction, quietly, I hesitate for a moment, then I flee without panic, without aggressiveness towards the exit, the path wide enough for a tractor, I then turned my eyes, and find that the boar followed me, and even got closer (animal mimetism?), not reassuring, so I go on the asphalt road, what seems to be the frontier for him, after thirty meters, I turn around, I see that he does not follow me, then engages a process of retrospective fear, that I have not known since 1996 in Kentucky, when I was attacked at the entrance of a "discotheque"  ('Girls Girls Girls') for those who know, I am going to my car and obviously, no question of continuing the walk, . I got back to Brest quite nervous I must say, I didn’t even notice people anymore.....

Those Where the Good Ole Days

loves interlude
The story of love
it's why I ask myself
we are best together
seems i don't want no one else
people see things differently
it's different in every eye
we say hello just to say
goodbye
why oh why
tell me why oh why
must my heart be broken all the time!.....


Those where the days
those good ole days
when women loved
there men
with honor and respect
those were the good
ole days

Those were the days
those good ole days
men adored 
and they chored
all to help the lady
those were the
good ole days

say it aint so
say it aint true
no collaboration
between me and
you
can we go back
start over again
maybe this time
we will end up
as friends

i like it when
we were together
talk over anything
through
any kinda weather
holding hands
from dawn til dust
spend a little
begg a little
but in god we'd trust
take credit for marring
the two of us
those were the good ole days!

Influences of love; getting back into romance is harder to do!
trumpets, french horns bassey guiars. violens chelloes flutes and woodwinds. sythesizers and right singers creating the right sounds!

Boar Boar Shed

Struggling to stay on top
He looked to the. Future
Evaluating his gains
and slighted through
Several possiblitys
Which might makest
All who labor in this
Types of endeavors
Chore less
Reduce the risks
Eliminate  challenges
And profit
 He designed a
Fencing system
That was sturdy enough 
To fennce in his hogs while they grazed
And a mobile barn with six axles
That housed the. Animals
At night and during weather
Events.tge floor was heated in winter
With a wood furnace and ventilated
With water that was pressurized
It could be moved by truck or ttacter
The PTO of the tracter to be used
To  power the watering system  
To keep the animals were the cameras
Could watch the hogs
The PTO used. To
And used to extend or retract
The fencing on both ends
 bared wire was used in the middle
Or the solar panels powers
The equipment in the tower
Where the hand could reside his watch
Over the grazing hogs

Boar Man, from THE WOMAN WHO COULD EAT WOOD

Boar Man


Boar Man was the best at
his job of eating food waste.
He didn’t mind
the truly horrible taste.

Regrettably he’d lost all his friends
because every time he opened his mouth
flies and creepy-crawlies
went into their mouth.

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