Best Blighters Poems

I've been shoved out in the back yard,
A bit ruff, don't you agree?
It's not that I've disgraced myself,
No,It's because SHE caught a flea!
Don't know what all the fuss is about,
I mean they don't bother me.

Any way I need the exercise,
It's a great way to have...

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Hilly lent me his post hole digger ‘cause I’m putting up a fence
around me veggie garden, so I could give it some defence
from marauding sheep and cattle that some keep on their block,
and forget about their fences, so I feed their wandering stock.

They eat all...

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the only tree for a thousand miles 
gave him welcome if temporary shade
a kaleidoscope of mockingbirds filling its branches
it was no longer possible to be blind
but very possible to be jailed
for being unaware of our surroundings
being that we are panphibians capable of TV
where apathy and...

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Santa stood in the warehouse
Full of nearly empty shelves
Last night they’d been ram raided
By a bunch of discontented elves

Recently infiltrated and recruited 
Into an association of packing staff
Whose ideas and demands and wants
Caused Santa to cynically laugh.
He could have held out for longer
That much was...

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Another long weekend’s upon us and we’re ready, set to go,
To get amongst the bream again, along the river Tambo.
Our adrenaline is rushing and we’re really bloody keen,
To celebrate with fishing while, we’re toasting to the queen…
And when arriving Friday night,
We were told the fishing’s...

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>We need a space filler Dragon, any ideas?

If I were a Pokemon 

If I were a Pokemon.
I would not be very happy.
With all you silly blighters.
Trying to entrap me.
If I were a real pokemon.
Trap me you would not.
As I’d do the same to you.
In real...

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The kids now start their summer term holidays, hip hip hooray
Thinking of the things we can all do over the bright sunny days 

I got some time off work; just so to look after the little blighters 
Now it’s time to hide all of Grandpa's...

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                         The idea is to...


       steep oneself in panacea 
     ...

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Flipping Heck! - they're at it again!
There's a shuffling noise from the drawer
It's clear they're having a promiscuous party
And swapping their partners once more
 
I'd paired them up with duty and care
Matching them as they should be
But I left them alone for 10 ruddy minutes
And...

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Torrero sans l’aide de Picador
Such artful courage sans pareil :
Gored in the loins

No need to shout who Bad Guys stand for
Mean lances of the Picador slay
Split Toro groins

Speak not of Bad Guys in the same breath
As of fighting bulls and bull-fighters :
Can courage die

Seek not...

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“On The Atchison Topeka And The Santa Fe”
This song is rolling round in my brain today
Was it the Modernaires or Pied Pipers
Which group were the blighters
That made us sing along in a hap hap happy way...

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These days, deliveries can be made by a drone.
I hate it whenever a machine answers a phone.
They call it another advance step in automation.
The only thing I consider it is an abomination.
Now they have computers calling people pertinaciously.
That is really something that has been annoying...

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[Warning - This Acrostic may contain profanity…
I have checked and I couldn’t find any, but, well
something’s just kinda niggling me… honest guv]


Heroes of the ‘super’ variety
Often disguised from polite society
Lovers, fighters, angry blighters
Yesterday’s pilots, freedom fighters

Feline-like women that purr just like cats
Under the radar they...

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
By Stanley Russell Harris
The new mad author

Ho, ho, ho, the Christmas vandals have struck.
Where you might well ask?
Felixstowe,at the beach huts.
Three times now, those blinking vandals.
Have struck at my beach but there.
Is it not too much to ask them.
Too vandalise...

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The universal worm has got some competition now,
since ‘Sandy’ took me out to Bateson’s dam.
This don’t include the ‘whitchys’ we get in a broken bough,
nor ‘scrubbies’ on the hooks we have to cram
to hide the silver hook
that a ‘blackie’ sometimes took,
where a ‘mudeye’ just might...

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