Oh Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear the Vandals Have Struck

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. By Stanley Russell Harris The new mad author Ho, ho, ho, the Christmas vandals have struck. Where you might well ask? Felixstowe,at the beach huts. Three times now, those blinking vandals. Have struck at my beach but there. Is it not too much to ask them. Too vandalise elsewhere? I mean three times my hut’s been vandalised. And it’s not cruel to anyone. Mind you, I might be later on. If I catch those vandalisers! Doing what they do for fun. I am slightly annoyed. I am slightly perturbed. I am also blinking mad. You’ll have to take my word. I will repair.my beach hut door. It will look quite posh, you know. Then, when I put up for sale. Up the price will go. Felixstowe may not be Southwold. Where beach huts are worth their weight in gold! But the amenities at Felixstowe are increased, so I have been told. Children have a play area, it is very nice indeed. There are posh toilets and a shower to wash off that sea weed. Kiosk selling cakes and drinks coffee and tea I mean. Another sells seaside novelties and lovely ice cream. I think I’ll mention all this in my advert for my beach hut. But I will leave out them vandals no publicity then I will give. I only hope without the fame, they can really live. I have the wood, screws and nails matching paint as well. And if I see those vandals! I could nail them down as well. I’m booking all my expense; it could be quite a lot. So when those vandals are caught they can pay for it, I certainly will not. Of course there is no CCTV, and witnesses there are none. Of those dear blinking vandals, having so much fun. And as Christmas is coming and if they caught you know. I’m sure the magistrate will be lenient and let them blighters go. Personally I would lock them up and throw away the key. Then my beach hut would be safe from the vandals, do you agree? Mine was not the only hut they did vandalise so. I’m sure they had a good time at the seaside you know. Playing kick the door in, smash the windows too. Trying to find something to steal, I hope it wasn’t you! No, poets are nice people, they really are you know. And on that note, I must finish as it is now time to go.