Best Beaufort Poems
Who am I?
I'm an American who ordered my head to remain buried in the sand
but due to the lunatic holding office, it refused to obey my command.
Finding no reasonable sensibility in the mind of that mad creature,
I shake my risen head, watching the horror of this double feature.
Each day is shadowed in darkness by yet another ruthless crime,
of the catalyst, sans morals. The unacceptable excuse for a paradigm.
The narcissist president who should be a mime like a circus clown,
the wanna be king of the world who brought our country down.
The predator of women, and of countries he thinks he can own...
A blowhard mentality, a bully who would sit on every nation's throne.
He's made us the enemy of Canada, Mexico, and now for gosh sake,
Denmark's Greenland, lusting for whatever he thinks he can take.
He wanted the Nobel Prize for Peace, but his demand was spurned.
With grubby hands he took it from its owner... an honor not earned.
Claims he doesn't want China or Russia to be America's neighbor.
He doesn't know how to read a map! Verbal abuse he likes to belabor.
He put his name on The Kennedy Memorial Center for Performing Arts
but it would make a better target on a game board for playing darts.
Sick is what he's made many U.S. Citizens with his presidential farce,
hoping remorse is felt by followers who should ask him for a divorce.
Who am I?
I'm a poet who'd rather not be an ostrich, not hearing the blathering,
but spending time writing of other things, daydreaming, woolgathering,
but it's become impossible not to hear, read, and be able to ignore
the catastrophic problems caused by the one Duke Beaufort calls 'Igor.'
As i looked up to the sky
The darkness ever so slightly dissipated
And was replaced by the majesty, grace,
wonder and beauty
Of a billion plus stars
Some so large, bright and close
It felt like i could wrap my world around them
And most surreal of all
Was i wasn't actually dreaming
This was visceral
This was real
A infinite universe of celestial graveyards
Beyond the earths ceiling
Starring directly back at me
Whilst driving through the Karoo desert post midnight
By Beaufort West
I woke up from the cradles of slumber
My morning eyes opened slowly
My mind frolicked and sang with peace
Remembering your words
So kind, so memorable were they!
So sweet, so genuine are you!
The mere thought of you takes away the assertive blue
It is a wonder I have come across your mind
It is a blessing like no other—a true, treasurable find!
And there are no words that can truly give you the honor you deserve
But take these, please!
And know there is so much more. . .
So much more that I wish to offer you
Your never-ending thoughtfulness and attention
Has filled me with unremitting appreciation
You really are a beautiful light to my world
Cheering my melancholy with joy
I have never found someone quite like you
And that is the beauty of it all
Finding the gold
The sunlight smiling for your marvelous shine
Finding truth
There is just no other like you!
I would never turn my eyes away
There is just no possible way
That is a blessing I count close to the heart
Finding you, such a rare piece!
Finding you in a churning world of excitement and chaos
Finding you with such delight and gratitude
Thank you so much, Duke!
Thank you for being you!
-Dedicated to a very fine poet named Duke Beaufort-
Not for a second think I've left the soup kitchen
and quite frankly, I'm tired of all the B itching.
not from those real poets who know how to write
with pen in hand or fingers on a keyboard in flight.
I'm dealing with a couple of serious family issues.
A very sick granddaughter, and it's giving me the blues
My best friend, my sister's heart is out of whack
I'm just done with AI attacks and counterattack
I haven't abandoned the site, only entering contests
and hoping Artificial Intelligence will soon be laid to rest.
Probably not. I've more important things to do for a while,
so, as Duke Beaufort likes to say... live life with a smile.
A Collaboration with Duke Beaufort
The youthful memories I have did grate
Upon my innermost self and I'd cry
For my depressed spirit which longed to die
And halt life tainted with anger and hate
Yet now in a manic marvelous state
Akin to alcohol’s euphoric high
My heart's core renewed, can soar to the sky
How this came to be, I’ll try to relate
I trapped thorny issues behind a gate
Forgiveness has become a great ally
Love found every day gives reason to fly
Like a balloon, unencumbered with weight
While able to breathe and greet each sunrise
Living and giving seem like the best prize
****
Youth represents life with songs to be sung
Laughing out loud when memories are made
But you wept as your spirit became frayed
Though now you're wiser than when you were young
Having crossed the threshold of angst that clung
See how clover's nectar can be arrayed
Let your heart rejoice and not be afraid
As delight comes from strands of pearls restrung
The door's ajar—from the cage you've been sprung
Take wing knowing happiness will not fade
A heart's compassion will never abrade
Where you go now—no place is too far-flung
Revel in moonlight and dawn's painted skies
An attitude change has opened your eyes
Duke,
Thanks for making our partnering on these Sonnets such fun!
I'm a sea captain!
Don't need a microphone !
I watched you take a back spin
With the skills I've honed
You pre picked your pansy pearl
Thought I didn't know it?
You presented your gargantuan
giggly girl
But didn't expect the Floating Poet
To the fart scoundrel of snoot port
Who saw the need was dire
Had the art counsel of Beaufort
Promise 2nd and 3rd to out of town
liars
(along with money and nice hotel
rooms)
It was a nice thing you did for her
The unethical proposition
She was the winner the judges
concur
But it was a liars competition
these are the last words you'll hear
From me there's no protest
But I'd like to see appear
An honest liars contest
Since it had nothing to do with luck
Let these words forever harass
cause I think you all suck
and you can take this cheap kazoo
you gave me and shove it up
your................
Oh how I love to read poems by Viv Wigley
He has me in hysterics and makes me go giggly
Ilene Bauer has a wonderful wit
Her clever humour is a real smash hit
Jack Ellison pens many a funny line
Makes me laugh, his humour is divine
John Wulf tributicks make me smile
He has a wonderful amusing style
Lindsay Laurie is an amusing guy
His hilarious poems catch my eye
Maurice Rigoler is a very funny man
I read his clever poems whenever I can
Jerry T Curtis I find is very funny
If he wrote a book he’d make lots of money
Darren Watson brings a smile to my face
His British sense of humour I think is ace
I cannot fail to mention the fabulous Arthur Vaso
He paints with funny words far better than Picasso!
Limericks are the forte of Duke Beaufort
These clever 5 line poems are my favourite sort
There are many other poets that I love to read
But humourous poets are my favourite breed
Contest:- Who are those funny Poets
Sponsor:- Judy Konos
13th November 2015
Campaigning must be very laborious
For democrat Hilary Clintorious
Folks say she’ll oust Donald Trump
Enthroned when taking a dump
These nasty rumours are so darn spurious!
May God Bless America - she sure needs all the help she can get!
Thanks to Duke Beaufort for letting me use his line 'Hillary Clintorious'
1st August 2016
Hello, my most esteemed poets,
I am trying an experiment that I believe has not been done here on the PS site. I have posted a new poetry contest called "The Prismatic Self: A Gauntlet of Mirrors within the Arena.".
The JUDGES have now been selected:
1. Lin Lane
2. Ink Empress
3. Duke Beaufort
4. Vanya Evangeline
5. Anne Winter
6. Hiya Sharma
7. Andrea Dietrich
8. Daniel Rodgers
Since only one person can view the contest, all contestants' submissions will be distributed between the group for input and ratings. When the contest is complete and we have the final list of winners, we will have personal insights from all the judges for each winner and all honorable mentions.
Thank you for your time and patience
Blessings,
Daniel
Eight salty Beaufort striking my face
at the edge of Inverness.
With my hands wide open
I'm balancing like a seagull
in front of the black and angry Atlantic.
I feel your lonely sunset
as you cross the ocean for hours.
I feel your longing wave
as you come to reach and burst out on the beach.
But since I was a child
an unknown star
permanently drives me to chaos,
and it is impossible to resist.
I travel thirsty on clear waters.
I travel hungry in fruitful gardens.
With great eagerness,
that suffocates inside my breast.
With an insistent deputy,
being stuck as chewing gum under my shoe.
This world is so vast.
and this brain, so restricted.
When will I find a beach?
I
In a "decent" town, Ft. Beaufort, within 90km
I arrived about Seven in the morning
For much-needed cash from a Bank ATM
Who knew, the ATM took my card & "jammed"
II
Long story short, I met on roadside crosses
As arranged before Nine, the same morning
The back was closed before then, only ATM
No one to report a "robbery by ATM" to,
So return later I did, joined 50-person line.
III
Query about cards chewed by ATM got no joy
A consultant I asked, gave me, "I don't know."
I rejoined the line, penultimate person in queue
I asked a cleaner, Viola, she took me to Unathi
All I did was sign a ledger, no ID asked, First in RSA
NOTE: IT is favor of God. I kept the prayer appointment, went back to town, got my Bank card, happily giving up my seat to an older gent.
I once knew a man named Billy Beaufort
With my dear wife he tried twice to consort
He failed, and I’ll tell you why,
He preferred to live, not die
Sharing my wife? Well, I’m not a good sport!
Written July 12, 2022
Walking out of church into the autumn morning
Among many this overwhelming feeling
There are no bad people, no addicts this day
Too beautiful and clean: the tall tree, the air, sky
Such a calmness descends
All seems well - no addictions
Not a day to spend frivolously
The gifts of God, generously
Given has sunk into all hearts
Thank you Mrs. Douman, fondly "TANIE NITA"
We were neighbors once, we shared plants
Your homegoing gave all a taste of heaven
And a mixed gathering in South Africa's NGK
Netherlands Gereformeende Kerk today
I come here as to a temple
An old-fashioned thing
Before Lisa, Joe, Paula, Jen
I condemn false gods of pain
Foul gods foretold in That Day
When coupling will dishonor Jesus
Coupling in lust, incest, vengeance
And the greed of the End Time
Join me in asking God to rebuke
Cast out and away, demonic ways
That have crept into Christian hearts
I have repented, but it's not enough
I share my shredded heart here
Maybe it's pity, empathy, love, or prayer
I seek in secular temples built on words
Mosquitoes rarely come at you, face to face. This is a classic sneak-attack kinda enemy, often found behind one's head, or about navel height. After a year in these tropics doing missionary work, I use DARKNESS as cover. The cellphone LIGHT attracts the enemy who shows himself as a deer in the headlights. But my advice to others: do not carry a heavy towel, as one must be versatile and ready to swing the towel deftly this way & that. Amazingly, one or two have escaped me by hiding on the back of the door (I usually go room by room, shutting each door to be alone with the enemy). During the day they remain indoors, biding their time, savoring my blood (& yours!). The poem or Limerick, posted on Valentine's Day - yes, Love - did not say it all. We got to remember, fight in the dark. Maybe a miner's helmet is a great gift to missionaries. Mail them to me at 11 Carnation St. Fort Beaufort, 5720. E.C., RSA. shalomShalOm
LIMERICK to PLEASE
A man with towel and cellphone
Returned with news, The enemy's gone!
Locking the bedroom door
He'd piled bodies on the floor
But Zweeee! He forgot one last one
P.S. Although some violence is necessary with these battles, you noticed I have avoided sprays and insecticides that hurt human and Nature - especially products called by names such as "Doom." Whose doom... I wonder?