Best Barney Poems

Don Knotts played the role of Deputy Fife,

   Whose tomfoolery created much strife!

      He bungled all that he did!

         Sheriff Taylor blew his lid,

      ...

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Meet the happy couple
That's Hilda all in white
Barney's there beside her
Loves her with all his might

They're an interracial couple
No problem nowadays
Frowned on not too long ago
But today it's a-okay 

Met at the local horse saloon
Frequented by the equine crowd
She was a pretty show horse
He was...

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CHORUS
No man stands alone
in the street, the ring or the combat zone
some lay in the gutter
some sit on a throne
but no man stands alone

At the age of fourteen 
he had a dream
to become a rabbi 
Chicago 1924
then his dad was killed by men
who tried to...

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Meet the happy couple
That's Hilda all in white
Barney's there beside her
Loves her with all his might

They're an interracial couple
No problem nowadays
Frowned on not too long ago
But today it's a-okay 

Met at the local horse saloon
Frequented by the equine crowd
She was a pretty show horse
He was...

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Remember Barney the Snowman's dog?
He disappeared one day in the fog.
He was chasing a stick,
Not knowing it was a trick,
And got his head stuck in a log.



01/08/2017

For The Silly Christmas Cartoon contest....

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Meet the happy couple
That's Hilda all in white
Barney's there beside her
Loves her with all his might

They're an interracial couple
No problem nowadays
Frowned on not too long ago
But today it's a-okay 

Met at the local horse saloon
Frequented by the equine crowd
She was a pretty show horse
He was...

Continue reading...

Meet the happy couple
That's Hilda all in white
Barney's there beside her
Loves her with all his might

They're an interracial couple
No problem nowadays
Frowned on not too long ago
But today it's a-okay 

Met at the local horse saloon
Frequented by the equine crowd
She was a pretty show horse
He was...

Continue reading...

One Day Barney Fife was practicing his quick draw.
He accidentally shot Thelma Lou, he broke the law.
Andy had no choice but to put Barney in jail.
But Andy let Barney out when he said he had a crop of marijuana to sell.
Barney offered Andy a fifty-fifty...

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Fred Flintstone
 In Bedrock he was known
 His cat would always put him out
 And for Wilma he would shout

 Barney Rubble
 Was always there on the double
 To get Fred out of a jam
 Then he would scram

 Example For my Contest
 8-28-2021...

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POOR BARNEY FIFE

There once was a young man named Barney Fife
He was a ladies man, but had no wife
He thought he was debonair
With lots of love he could share 
But Deputy Fife is filled with great strife

Now he's laughed at by all of the women
He...

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Out late tossin' the rag.
Turn down Barney Jenkins Road.
Big 'ol square white
house, freshly makeshift
sign in the lawn.
It reads:
SUNDAY SCHOOL 11AM
Ain't that beautiful?
Ain't that how the world
should turn?
Stick a sign on ya lawn
an' let the people come
right on in.
He's probably
a pedophile....

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Barney the Deputy of Mayberry,
one bullet in pocket he did carry.
Before a crime wave could flood,
he would nip it in the bud.
To the law the Deputy was married.



2/2/19
...

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Fred Flintstone
    Felt tingles, down his funny bone,
    While playing his golf ball, he lost control.
    Barney cried foul, as it bounced off his elbow into the hole.

    Barney Rubble 
  ...

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ive never met anyone in this life
as nervous as deputy barney fife
andy gave him a big gun
but a bullet only one
and will thelma ever become his wife

Limerick 4 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Joseph may
2/13/19...

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Sheriff Andy Taylor
Was also the jailer
Fighting for the law
Never had to draw

Deputy Barney Fife
Giving crime strife
One bullet to load
Knew his penal code





Clerihew 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Joseph May
September 29, 2021
The Andy Griffith Show

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