Best Bagels Poems
A lot of work and effort it does not take.
In fact, these treats are very simple to make.
They don’t require a lot of time to bake.
You need flour, water, and yeast to make the dough.
Adding a little honey is also a fine way to go.
Mix everything together and let the stuff rise.
In just a couple of hours, you will have a pleasant surprise.
Divide the dough evenly and shape the pieces into rings.
Letting them rise another two hours is what is required for these things.
Floating them in boiling water for a couple of minutes is what you need.
Watching them brown in the oven is a pleasant sight indeed.
Hot, soft, and crispy, they come out ready to eat.
Serve them with jelly, butter, and cream cheese, and they’re a great breakfast treat.
Bobby Burroughs bought a bunch of butter bagels,
Bundled in a butter bagel box.
But Bobby Burroughs found the bagels bitter,
So Bobby bought a box of better lox.
Bagels as hot as pancakes
for a quick breakfast;
I breathe in their tempting smell
and get excited:
happy as a kid,
I munch on
one!
One day Gaia was doodling
with sharp twig, on scribbly gum.
"Note to Self"
These big-brained bipeds
are getting far too cocky for their britches.
All the dumb-arses
are becoming smarty-pants.
These bloody bipeds are building
bloody big Babel information towers
all over the place.
Plagiarism is rife,
There's no room for original thought any more when:
Google stores every word,
every phase, every sentence,
everything that is written, and ever was written.
Stored verboten in the cloud.
DuckDuckGo quarks and quacks are all up there as well.
Omniscience is their new religion.
We can't have that!
It's time to confound them!
These biped are obsessed with self.
Their selfies, CCTV footages, videos,
GPS tracks, images and snaps,
are stored in huge face book towers,
which now clutter the space time
all the way up from Earth to Moon.
The cirrus clouds are dark,
mumbling and rumbling
with all the chatter, texts and conversations
they must store for ever,
up there for ever more.
For endless mindless biped
re-runs to be replayed.
Biped evolution has stopped.
Too many Babel towers and silos.
We can't have that, now can we?
Time to bake some Babel Bagels
Time to put some holes in their self-centred buns.
I must speak to the termites about that.
"Note to Self"
The big-brained bipeds are done and dusted
Its time for the ants to take over
as King of Beasts
here on Planet Water.
A hands-on workshop was such fun
In Montreal today.
We made real bagels, all from scratch
In a yummy, local way.
Our teacher made us feel at home
(Makes sense - he lives there, too!)
As, patiently, he demonstrated
What we had to do.
Eleven of us washed our hands
And tied our aprons on,
Then measured the ingredients
And mixed ‘til they were gone.
We kneaded and then shaped the dough
With Will to supervise,
Then watched them boil and added seeds
And, much to our surprise,
We made delicious bagels
And our group felt really proud!
As a born and bred New Yorker,
I was thrilled and also wowed.
If you visit Montreal, make sure
You find Will’s class and go
For a wonderful experience
That will delight you so!
The Nor'easter came down like the wolf on the fold,
The barometer fell and my fingers got cold
And the sheen of the clouds was like spears on the sea,
When the sunlight fades nightly on Maine's Kittery.
Susie's Bat Mitzvah was planned for the day
We planned a big spread and boy did we pay.
For Bagels and Lox with a caterer of renown
And rented the biggest dance hall in town.
But the angel of mirth spread his wings on our blast,
And breathed in our face and laughed as he passed;
And I heard the grim wind, and it gave me a chill,
For the rain was in sheets, and the traffic grew still.
And there lay the wires on every street wide.
Power was out, and cars did collide
Boats were thrown over Manhattan's docks
No way we'd get to those bagels and lox.
And the mother of Susie is loud in her wail,
And the flights are aborted, and the trains fail
And the plans of the parents, thrown off by the wind
Hath melted like snow, but Susie just grinned.
She said "I'll get my presents anyway
"Without having to stand at the Bimah and pray
"No need to recite Haftorah to the flocks
"And I always preferred Dunkin Doughnuts to Lox."
Then the East River crashed through our door
A nasty Northeaster wouldn't let Susie ignore
We ran for the hills, but Manhattan lacks those
Found a house with stairs, struck a drenched pose.
Nothing wrong with cheap Bat Mitzvah's, I hasten to explain
Its just all that money that went down the drain.