Best Archie Poems

"Edith!  Edith!   I didn't find a Twinkie in my lunch bucket today!
What happened, Dingbat?   Why do you torture me this way?"
"But Archie, ain't you seen on TV they ain't makin' 'em anymore?
The company is foldin' up and they ain't stockin'...

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Archie Bunker served in Italy during Dubya Dubya Two,

   And was wounded by an enemy gun that was aimed, Oh! so true!

      He won the Purple Heart and was reluctant to talk about his scar, but,

  ...

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He died a hero's death. He sacrificed his own life to save that of a friend.
Betty, Veronica, Jughead and Reggie had all been his friends since the begining.
Which friend's life did he save? Was it one of them?
No one will know until this July when...

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Last Saturday night I dropped by for a few beers at Kelsey's Bar.
Archie Bunker was there, drinkin' beer and chompin' on a nickel seegar,
Expoundin' on religion and his pinko, atheist son-in-law, Meathead!
If you dared to contradict him, he'd tell you right off to drop dead!

"Edith...

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In the realm of comic book tales
 There's a town called Riverdale 
  Where Archie Andrews hangs out with his friends
 Riverdale High is the school they attend

 Archie's best pal is Jughead Jones
 He's the guy with lazy bones
 Then there's dorky Ethel...

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I don’t mean to bust Archie’s hump.
He meant well, the simple old chump,
   But damn, how buffoonish
   His views, so cartoonish,
In short, he’d have staunchly liked Trump!


(Written February 2, 2019, for Joseph May's Limerick 4 contest.)...

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There once was a man named Archie
Definitely not so starchy
Ridicule his best gift
Supremacy his lift
An upper hand controlled Archie

Bunker was his family name
Superiority his game
He put intellect down
Made Michael wear a frown
And his viewers flush with red shame

Syllables checked. 
Written: 02/14/2019...

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Archie Bunker at the Pearly Gates

By Elton Camp

Archie almost died at the loading dock
The experience, to him, quite a shock
“If the crate hadn’t missed, I’d be dead”
The scary thought ran through his head

That night he had a most troubling dream
Because completely real to him it...

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Dear Archie,

It's best you find your bunker

The world as we know it

Has certainly gone asunder

Political correctness

Don't it make you wonder

If we should be taking names

And writing down their numbers

Oh and Archie,

Lucky now your six feet under

Out of lightenings range

And all the man made thunder

Those were...

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Archie Bunker made Edith a saint
His attitude made most people faint
His words often cruel
He acted like a fool
But She still loved him with no complaints

2/2/19

Limerick 4 Contest

Sponsor: Joseph May

9,9,6,6,9 (Howmanysyllables.com)...

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Archie had words for each situation,
he would say them without hesitation;
like my sediments meat head,
or in a pigs dye, he said;
my bus has sailed was his explanation !


___________________________
February 5, 2019

Poetry/Limerick/Archie Bunker 
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1172-670-02
All Rights Reserved.  Written under Pseudonym.


Submitted to the contest, ...

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My name is Archie Templeton-Mead
I'm vice president of corporate greed,
gold, bonds and diamonds, are (in the main)
what I need, so please write a letter, you 
couldn't do better than plant your small seed, 
(avaricious indeed!)
with financial factotum Archie Templeton-Mead...

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Why did Archie keep running after Veronica?
Betty was the nice one.
And she was blonde.

Why was Reggie’s mouth always drawn into a sneer?
Did they want him to look cruel?
Why did they want Jughead to appear stupid?

Oddly enough, I never questioned why
Betty and Veronica were both drawn...

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Nobody sat in Archie Bunker's chair

   From which he bloviated with a flair!

      He drove Meat Head up the wall,

         With unmitigated gall!

       ...

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A cranky old man that rules his household
from his armchair. There isn't one he doesn't scold.
With jabbing comments and taunts;
feels he can say what he wants.
A shameful big mouth, hardheaded and bold.


His chauvinist views; women with boobies
were created to make meals and babies.
He still lives...

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