Best Apprehensiveness Poems
apprehensive to walk these alleyways
before me i see violence and filth
colliding in the shadows of night
disheveled piles of trash strewn about
emptied cans tipped towards houses
fences fighting to stand together
gathered only by the gates that keep them
holding back nothing but time
inscriptive graffiti on garage doors
just outside them, expensive cars sit
kept inside are years of memories
layered in unpolished dust
memories that hold no value
nevertheless are valued more
only they eventually are forgotten
perhaps like the homeless as they lie hidden
quietly tucked in the corners of darkness
resting on nicely manicured lawns
snuggled against the base of trees
that offer shelter from the weather
umbrellaed branches sip the rain
veins slip beneath needles
where temporary escapes linger on
xanthic flesh casts shadows of death
yet there is no ambition
zeal for life seems to be gone
02/08/2020
I hold my sides wearily
pondering the lengths and strides I still have to take until I am authentic
My lies have become piled so high.... I have a lot of damage repair to do before this struggle
is through.
Afraid to expose the vulnerable
I stare in confusion in front of the looking mirror, trying to distinguish where exactly it was
where my smile
Lay down, gave up and died.
Weakened from my mind's inner war zone turmoil
Your compliments are cynical shrapnel to my confidence
Rebellious relentless disbelieving that I am what I know I am unique and
Pulchritudinous
I walk an unsteady line
tight rope of apprehensiveness
Unconfident
I want to let my hair down and just breathe..listen to the drip drop of a waterfall and sleep.
I remind myself to Speak with Conviction
I know
I am no longer powerless
dependent on desperately trying to win your approval, you will never be affectionate
I will not be Subservient or put myself at risk for the harms way of that subjection
Impotent of love you were feeble and weak, feeding on my youth and purity.
I resurrected my heart with the my rocket fuel beating life back into my chest.
It's a combination of
Passion, devotion, infatuation and a couple of years worth of
Tears, and sweat
It's a metronome of my steadiness
Invigorated from my second chance
Defiant to self doubt
I valiantly confront challenges that used to make me shake in my converse shoes.
Sunbaked entrance steps and climbers amidst,
lay the washroom secluded.
Door opened to reveal its acrid smell.
Provoking minds to give thoughts a space.
Anxiety,apprehensiveness,shrills and thrills,
laughter to sarcasm its aroma consisted.
The room as if sealed everything
reverbrating inside,assuring confidentiality.
Dragging psyche back to the reflections
created by the full-sized mirror.
Either to enhance walks or imperfections of face.
Motioning oneself in and out,
just to retain the 'prim and proper' attitude.
Lip balms and kohl sticks were gaped at,
because insouciance with girls
went hand in hand.
Belonged to a school,
no less than a chaotic circus.
No matter holding whatever significance,
it'll remain enclosed with mystique emotions,
that once resumed in my teenage.
On the beginning of that September day
Our flag was wailing in the wind
As we were to celebrate another day of our freedom
Many lives were going to change forever
In the most despicable, vile way
Invaders came from the Middle East
And offered to die to carry on a mission so radical
Planes with terrorists’ came to the Twin Towers
As people looked on from their televisions
Pure shock was shown of their faces
As the Twin Towers collapsed
Screams of devastation could be heard
As firefighters risked their lives to save others
Love ones were lost and some of them perished
They were our friends and family, and now they were gone
Tears dripped down the faces of many people
As we mourned together
We were able to deal with this great loss
But as we are all are of diverse ethnic groups
We held our hands up together
And prayed
As we have been united since this horrible time
There are still many pieces to put together
This was the day our heroes were born
All the firefighters and the people in the armed forces who defend freedom everyday
To you the terrorists we’re just a country you despise
But when you decided to attack us it wasn’t smart
Your mission did not succeed
What you tried to take from us is still in our grasp
The freedom that each American has worked earn
As our captain communicated with us
He was trying to destroy our apprehensiveness
Evidently we were trying not to burst into tears
Many people remember that day as September 11th
But I remember that day as Tears of Tragedy
For United we Stand Divided we fall
Many of us are still grieving or still angry
But what occurred that September day could never be changed
Is it proper to apologize if I have been harmed?
I don't fall or stagger when I'm downward
Your success isn't mine; don't destroy my mind
I'm strong, not caring around the foothold
So don't dismay; you're not a danger to me or scold.
When the news gets out, I'll be excited!
Utterly, the people who love you are glad.
Despite being almost slain, he was not free.
Would you aim to be in control? to earn glee
The strength of your domain will fade as per plea.
Your labor and thoughts will be useless.
It's not shocking that you're erroneous.
You've just revealed deceptions thus afar.
And I remain aloof despite human anger.
Anxiety
A mental condition characterized by excessive apprehensiveness about real or perceived threats
Anxiety is such a fickle thing
It can wrap around my throat like a noose, choking me until I am unable to breathe
Or it can hide in the background, whispering poison thoughts in my ear, tainting every situation with distress and uncertainty
But no matter the form it takes, it never leaves me
My constant companion
An unwilling partnership forged in memories I have lost to time
It has been around in all my biggest moments
There for every low and every high
In every memory, leaching the color from my successes
Darkening the shadows of my failures
Anxiety is the chains that keep me locked in my own mind
Never truly me
I am only the carefully curated picture my anxiety paints, and allows the world to see
Do I even exist without anxiety?
"Trust me," he said, and gave me such an impish grin it melted my apprehensiveness. "I wouldn't lead you astray." And so I did, trust him, and let him lead me down the garden path.
He took my hand and led me away
He took my hand and led me astray
He said he wouldn't but he did
And just like that I quickly bid
Adieu to childish ways and such
Like a current was his touch
As he took my hand it tingled so
I almost pulled away,
But no
Once joined together a connection was made
That could never be broken or be betrayed
My heart was pounding,
Could he hear?
Our bodies side by side,
So near
Did he feel the same as me?
Was he also waiting expectantly
To take me up in his embrace
Nevermore to be chaste.
Among the grasses, we'd lay supine,
He'd press his lips, hard, on mine
His tongue he then would slip
Inside my mouth,
I shuddered with the thought of it
I closed my eyes momentarily
Waiting, expectantly
And then just as suddenly
He said, “here it is, come see”
While moving the boughs of a massive tree
Revealing something surprising there,
Pointing it out, with such care
Carved in the trunk, were four initials
Within a heart, he had chiseled
"Do you think she’ll like it?",
he grinned that grin,
"She’ll love it," I said,
As I looked at him
His eyes so clear, his hair a mess
He couldn’t tell, he couldn’t guess
How close I was to loving him
That hope I'd had now had dimmed
"Trust me" he said and so I did
With tears burning behind eyelids
It was I who’d led me astray,
And down the garden path away
From what wasn’t real
Or meant to be
But even momentarily.
What bliss
I felt that one time
With the thought of his kiss,
So sublime
“Trust me,” he said, with that impish grin
But it was I who’s thoughts desired sin