Best Angstme Poems
knock knock knock
on my front door
i get up to look
it's lonliness at the door
but quite and still
i would not let
lonliness in so peacefull i slept
morning came
and with the knocks once more
but i kept my temper
and evened the score
inside i sat quietly
wishing he'd go away
but he yelled from outside
he had something to say
i said "go away"
and i put a record on
something moving and grooving
i played it all day long
but when evening came
i put on a sweater
and decided to play
something much better
something smooth
something sentimental
something with lyrics
that are very gentile
something with words
that don't dare remind
of terrible incidences
recently left behind
constantly reminding me
it should be a crime!
it should be a crime!!
it should be a crime!!!
anger was present
he had a key
i was glad to see him
and he was glad to see me
but lonliness
though being out side
made his presence known
in certian shadows
in certian rooms
anger said
"have a drink"
and handed me a bottle
"listen up. i know how to fix that flirt.
slap her in the face.
rub her name in the dirt!"
and with this
my imagination ran wild
drink after drink
we talked a while
but i remembered myself
this wasn't my style
and once again lonliness
knocked at the door
i let him in and fell
crying to the floor
why, oh why must you visit
once more?!
he said "to try to give you wisdom
where you broke down before.
to try to give you knowledge
before you go through the door.
to try to make you stronger,
if you should do it again.
and to always let you know
that i am your constant friend.
i am with you in your solitude
i am with you while you sit
surrounded by friends.
i scream my name LONLINESS!
in your ears very loud.
never forget my power
or giving me my hours."
and with that
he sat his fat ass down
When you fall into slumber on the pavement
Or
When you wake up at another's
Prevent me from suffocating
In the heat of delight
Delight cant be real
when your behind it all
Because its you behind it all
Or slip into the light
fish me some rainbows
That fade when you bring it back
Because i live in the dark
I live in the dark
Don't take your murderer for granted
-Title quote by Albert Einstein
You find me
Cold
Bitter
I am not yours to touch
To have
To hold
No softness to envelop you
No love to comfort you
Only emptiness
Ambivalence to greet you
Reach for me and I will prick you
Leave you
Cold
Lost
Hard around the heart
I am not yours to hold
You will not reach me
Sleep evades me tonight.
Tears are fighting to be set free.
I am stuck in an endless battle.
My eye's burn with white hot liquid.
My heart aches for comfort.
Someone to tell me, I'll make it through.
But my pride stops me.
The words die on my tongue.
I keep the pain to myself.
I let it out when no one is around to hear.
My sobs echo in empty rooms.
I hold myself together with hope.
Sleep evades me tonight.
Tears are fighting to be set free.
I am stuck in an endless battle.
Please set me free.
I have never loved anyone.....
Not a flower or a toad....
I have never seen anything...
I have ever wanted....
That is my life.....
I lie and cheat....
It gives me no pleasure...
My darkness is my own.....
So complete....
The Devil owns my soul.....
I kill just to kill
Just to see the sadness
No feelings...
No guilt....
Nothing....
The Devil in me reaps.....
I was once a young man...
Promise and poise I was...
Until the night she came....
To me....
I do not care for love....
She said....
Men are men...
Wicked souls....
They stole from me...
My beauty....my innocence's
My identity and soul...
So I say to you...
In a dream I come
To you.....finding another lost soul.....
In the trenches..
Death all around you....
Bleeding out your last breath...
From a bayonete.....
Come to me.....
And I will show you...
Agony's joy....
My god.....I have fought so hard.....
For what I have believed to be true.....
Just to be surrendered.....
To his witch of Satan's lust.....
Oh... I can't endure.....
This hurt to my heart.....
How can I fight this tragedy......
I am but a soldier...
I had to kill...
And yet I
Opened the door...
To the witch....
Who took my soul...
Just for the killing.....
tell me what you were thinking.
i want to know what ran through your mind.
as you packed all your bags and left me behind.
you left without even the simplest form of sentiment.
you had the best of me.
now i feel like nothing more than the protagonist in a tragedy.
a screenplay consisting of empty words.
you are nothing but a liar.
i write this with you in mind.
i wonder what you were so afraid of.
i wonder why you would abandon love.
the acts of a traitor.
i wish i could rid myself completely of you.
don't you know that i would have never left you behind.
this is the thanks i get, for always keeping you locked in my mind.
falling for every word that you spoke.
sinking like a ship into a sea of falsified hopes.
if i had known, i would have packed my bags.
and left you long before you left me.
now i lie in this bed, writing letters never to be sent.
releasing my mind from this torture and torment.
i can't let this keep wearing on my heart.
i'll give anything to escape this place.
as i finish writing this letter, i turn in my bed.
Sleeping with a ghost.
How could you let go?
it's been said,"to give is better than to receive."
i've given my all to you.
i set myself up to receive nothing but failure in return.
why can't i just rid you from my mind?
you were the one who left me behind and let this burn.
i just wonder what crossed your mind as you crossed that line.
i wish i didn't care about you.
The pain in my chest wont stop pounding.
My salty tears wont cease to flow from my blue eyes.
I get cut by a razor every time some one tells me the truth.
Yet here I am, once again seeking refuge in your arms.
It's crazy to think I keep running back to you.
Maybe every one is right and I am just a child.
Could they be right about me and you?
I hope for my heart they are not.
They say your a liar, you wont leave her.
Especially for me they say, and I can tell what they mean.
I'm no where near as good as her.
I just hope you can see that I would give anything to you.
The pain and tears would all be worth it in the end.
If I could only win you over.
Battle scars left on my pale skin wouldn't matter,
if you were there to kiss them.
This isn't some fairy tale, I can read from a book.
Its dirty reality where I'm on the front line.
How I wish I could be the one, who you belonged to.
Instead here I am fighting behind the scene for your love.
On Being Eighty
Do not smile and pat me on the head
Because I’m eighty
Do not treat me as though I were a child
Because I’m eighty
Do not assume that I am
Not as bright as you
Or that my opinion doesn’t count
Because I’m eighty
Do not talk about me
As though I weren’t there
Because I’m eighty
Do not roll your eyes to heaven
When I complain and please...Please
Don’t call me dearie
Just because I’m eighty
I have lived through the Depression,
The birth of television
The invention of the microwave,
Modern air travel,
Space ships, Man on the moon,
WW2, Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf War and Iraq
While holding down numerous jobs
And raising a family.
All this without
Cell Phones, Ipods, Nannies,
Personal Trainers and Botox!
So please…my dear
Do not patronize me
Because I’m eighty
Indeed…celebrate with me
Just BECAUSE I’m eighty!
Copyright© 2008 Beatrice Boyle
(All rights reserved)
Oh, Please, Not Again
By Elton Camp
As a teenager, I admit I was a nerd.
Books to sports I very much preferred.
To become agile, I didn’t have the means.
Athletic ability just wasn’t in my genes.
But back then, throughout all the nation,
Everyone had to take physical education.
Football, softball, basketball we had.
And at each them, I was so very bad.
The coach knew one way, it seems
To divide the boys up into teams.
Every day it was all done anew.
All of the team rosters to renew.
His best players he allowed to choose
Which ones on their teams they’d use.
Into a big group we were hauled.
And the pickers the names called.
There’s Josh whom I helped on his test.
Maybe a little of mercy he will express.
But it remains just as it has before.
Others he picks and me does ignore.
“Oh, God, don’t let me be last again.”
I would, because they wanted to win.
I acted like I really didn’t care,
But it was just so hard to bear.
If only the teams could stay the same for a while,
I wouldn’t have to undergo that awful daily trial.
It was terrible with the knowledge to be taunted,
That on nobody’s team was I actually wanted.
Since then, over fifty years have gone by.
But I still recall the humiliation with a sigh.
At class reunions, fewer and fewer appear
As more due to age and sickness disappear.
Their loss I certainly do hate to see.
Even those who weren’t kind to me.
Perhaps it is justice that I still survive
Yet those faster and better are not alive.
Now give me hope when books begin
to bite, when school begins to strangle me.
My worries wear on me and Satan's sin
does weave and warp Hosannah's peace.
What are you doing with me God?
What are you doing with me Earth?
What is your plan?
I've always thought this suffering
To be a blessing that in time
Will reveal itself to me
And I will be the better for it.
Have I not wanted?
Have I not spent each night
Dreaming the same dream.
Is it a dream?
Or am I sleep walking through life,
A zombie of the penitentiary... this life.
Have I not offered sorrow for this dark hour?
Not offered myself up as bait to this,
Impenetrable mouth?
Have I not been the callus one for you?
Speaking one phrase and letting it
Govern me,
Each syllable
Deepening it and breathing it
Into my bosom.
For what cause?
For what purpose?
What unearthly shores beckoning me?
I have not the answers.
Though I know not,
How is it this seemingly homesickness
Dwells within me
As though I have once known it
Called it out by name,
Reached for it with generous fingers,
And it has left me now?
Left me,
Leaving me to wait for it
To come and take me
And make me it's own.
Do not the trees whisper their secrets to me?
Do they not seek me out in the night,
Placating me in reverie
And leaving me unto morning
With utter unrememberment blue.
"Je ne sais pas.
Je ne sais plus.
Je suis perdu."
Form:
Thoughts scurrying in my head
like underground commuters -
pushing, bustling, focused only
upon themselves with no care for
others - reaching for the last
remaining hang strap or seat.
Words tousling for attention;
some trying to scream the loudest,
while others sulk in silence,
hoping I will notice their drooping
lip - occasionally slamming the
doors of concentration.
Distracting me from mundane tasks
the nagging voices in the background
of my single-mindedness, pulling -
this way and that - lurching from
decision to indecision, from certitude
to the uncertainty of next move.
Manic dance to wavering music -
now here, now there, shilly-shallying
to discordant melody and
rampant orchestration. Confused conductor,
misguiding brass and strings producing
a cacophony of sound - a jarring, jangling din.
STOP! Let me try and restore order!
All sit down, calm down, SHUT UP!
Stand in a neat line, so I can
see straight - consider my options.
Put down your instruments, let them
be soundless. Freeze frame! Motionless.
I stand before the still of the image.
In one corner there is 'do this',
in the other 'do that'.
The mayhem surrounding them frozen.
Grimace fixed for eternity.
While I hover in a place of indecision;
fingers plugging my ears; eyes blinded by perplexity.
On closer scrutiny I see 'alternative',
nestling in the background, quietly waiting
for recognition. I see it now, so clearly.
I pick it up, it conforms to my touch,
We leave together by the back door.
Frozen frame melting as movement returns to
the manic confusion. Alternative and I
in collusion, leaving indecision, and
disharmony to slug it out, tip-toe
to safety, hand in hand....ssh, close the
door quietly, they may not even notice we have gone.
START
what where you thinking about
did you see me and you had a doubt
about the
feel of my skin
on different parts of your chin
that it might irritate your stubble
and make your mind and stomach stumble
STOP
faces apart
RESTART
So what we're we talking about
did you like how I handed back your pride
and made that smart mark of yours reside
like a
child crying that's not mine to dare
fish dying when I'm drinking a bottle of water without a care
just here watching while trying to dig your fingers in the air
STOP
hands fall apart
RESTART
Look down and stay on the ground
give it up, I've handed you down
I wanted something, but when I look at you now
I pretty sure that something, was the thing that made you drown
and I'm sorry
so sorry
that I gave in but hid
but the bottle to my pioson has already closed it's lid
STOP
yeah...you won't remember me anyway
RESTART
5 6 7 8
TALK
(motivated by team sleep's diamond king)
Lick me
pierce me
shoot me dead
pour out my heart
my spleen
kill life
strife
burn, torture
slice my heart
die, maim, endure
permanent
blame
hate
anticipate
destruction of my soul
chip or explode away
at any remaining
self confidence
self delusion
self, self,
self
love me
love,
warmth, desire
please hear me
please see me
please hold me
for eternity
I need you
now
looking into that puddle
reflection of my dirt covered face
slipping and sliding
in that mess of my life
no holding back
what I need to say
no way out of
this bubble I'm trapped inside of
i can't see out
but you can look in
seeing me fall
seeing me break
you cringe in resent
of having to see me this way
trying to look away
seeing my face filled with tears
you fall to your knees
screaming, pounding your fists
torcher has no end
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