i settle for the littlest scraps i can secure;
i settle for the littlest scraps, and even then they're hard to procure.
i kneel for the most jaded of hearts;
i kneel for the jaded hearts, even when my own is pierced through by stray darts.
i vouch for the blandest demeanors i can find;
i vouch for the bland and even then they don't find it in them to be kind.
why do i prolong my pain, you ask?
why do i not seek what's in it for my gain so I can bask?
there's something deeply ruined, flawed in entitlement
so i restrain to find the beauty in belittlement.
3/2/35 03:19
I glorify men
Placing them high on a pedestal
Where my father fell short
The bar is in hell
And the bare minimum are the crumbs I live off
Satiated from nothing and empty promises
An illusion of fullness
As I see myself in half
As I saw myself in half
As I stand here with a void desperate to be filled
Take me served up on a silver platter
Ill intentions disguised as good deeds
And deflection paired with belittlement right on time
The light within me dims when I’m faced with their conditioning
And the fire is lit
Am I being gaslit?
I hook my claws onto potential
As my reflection bounces back at me
Disguised as I swim in the delusion of what they’re telling me
Words so loud and action rarely found
I abandon myself at the sight of basic decency
A WORLD WITH NO HATRED, ONLY LOVE AND PEACE
NO NEED FOR JAILS FOR THERE IS NO CRIME
DISEASES AND ILLNESSES THAT CAN ALL BE CURED
A WORLD LIKE THAT WOULD BE FINE
COMPASSION AND CONCERN FOR THOSE IN NEED
THE OFFERING OF GENUINE SUPPORT
TO FORGIVE AND BE NON-JUDGEMENTAL
THAT’S OFTEN WHAT’S REALLY SOUGHT
NO POVERTY OR PEOPLE WITH NO PLACE TO GO
NO HOMELESS NEEDING TO SLEEP ON THE STREET
A BED AND ROOF OVERHEAD FOR ALL
A PLACE SOMEWHERE SAFE TO SLEEP
THE MISUSE OF DRUGS OR ALCOHOL BY SOME
IT’S A MECHANISM FOR THEM TO COPE
INSTEAD OF PERSECUTION AND BELITTLEMENT
POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT DELIVERS WELCOMED HOPE
WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIVE OUR LIVES SAFE
WHERE EVERYONE WORKS AS A TEAM
DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT
EACH NIGHT THAT’S WHAT I DREAM
We tend to give a little more
to the little ones.
Nonetheless,
it's not a matter of
belittlement.
The lesson in lessness,
is not a matter of nothing less
nor nothing else
nor is it about starving to nothingness.
Nevertheless, it's more or less
about giving a little less in
little bits of littleness,
in meager, measly morsels,
that just suffices
and leaves one
just less than starving,
but with a little more
hunger within,
yet to be satisfied.
A sickness corrupts my heart
My lips burn from the sickness
My fingertips feel frozen
And everything I eat is tasteless
This sickness eats my confidence
And erodes my self-esteem
Every waking hour is torment
Born from mental toxicity
A sickness erodes my will to live
I just live from day to day
Feeling like the poison
Has killed my sense of purpose
This sickness is my own thoughts
Corrupted from years of belittlement
And the the slow but burning realization
That I just don't care anymore
Back when
all that laid ahead
were the unheard
tales of time
tensely twirling
towards tomorrow.
Where our
hollow heedless
heads of hope
would wistfully
follow.
Still strumming
out their
stammering
starless streams
of desolate
undecided
dreams.
Then bashfully
burn out
into bittersweet
beams of
belittlement.
I once knew a little girl coming of age. She often put her trust in people, places and things. She met liars, cheaters, users, abusers frequently in her mind, soul
her self esteem broke, her kindness taken for weakness she was labeled a fool,
crazy, stupid because she cared too much. ungrateful individuals seemed
to be captured by her presence. places she treaded searching for an escape
only to face mental abuse on repeat that turnt to broken trust, disappointments,
and physical abuse that turnt to brokeness. weariness seeking to regain her
Self-control, spiraling out of control, continously lied on, her name scandalized. She's wearing these labels for game? and often the topic for belittlement, She
was ridicule . This little broken, despite that she is overcoming, striving to stay
on track for this little girl is blooming into a woman that holds love in her broken
spirit to dim her light yet stillness and tranquility remains in her heart.
Life is like
a blank page
roughly wrinkled
in withering white.
Begrudgingly
bearing it’s
abandoned
brand of
belittlement .
Which only can
be broken
by the olden
unspoken truths
lying in between
the written words
of humanity’s
harrowing hand .
Medasse to all who directly or indirectly taught life’s lessons without realizing it, It amazing how some people behaviors or patterns are disrespectful and how they are belittles towards one another.
flimsy fig leaf blade
belies the belittlement
of hiding under
Rest now…
To idle from natures’ merciless dispossession
Lifeless muscles slump
Still now,
Though exhausted from the blow
Perhaps you are the same;
Now we are one.
Breathless, windless, airless,
Silence after the slaughter
I did something wrong;
Beguiled from belittlement.
Yes, I am mortal now…
Aftermath of the hurricane.
The beginning of the end,
Heart beats.
Diane Perna
BURNT TEARS
I remember a tormented childhood with
Dad’s words laced with poison and Mom
tossed acid on my tears by saying no words
to stop it and even joined it.
I remember that even though I was a small
and frail child that didn’t stop them
these parents left me to thrash about life
with their painful insults.
I remember because my spirit was crushed
I wore an unmistakable frown
the wounds of my heart were inimitable too
as was the damage to my character.
I remember Mom laughing when I swallowed Clorox
and should’ve warned it wasn’t apple cider
what I was left with was swallowing burnt tears
and always wondered if anyone could tell.
I remember my sorrowfulness like
hot molten metal running over me but
I kept it locked up and bound because
I only found judgment that silenced me.
I remember pressing on through to another year,
month, week, day and minute with the blare in my
head of the brutal belittlement so evermore
I carry the memory of those burnt tears.
RAINBOW BELLS
Belittlement of sea and sky with blue
and green entitlement - unfocused lens
of stormy clime — the darkening of hue
in whites of shellacked eyes, aplomb of friends
does drown in haziness. They drink his tears —
the absinthe of their cloudy souls deplete.
Inside the whitewashed tomb, awake to fears.
Those hoppy beers lack taste with sins to greet.
Unexpected — her sunshine fingers lift
his icy lids — the melt like Everest.
Believe in miracles unceasing gift.
The chromatic breath of an angel blessed.
The blinding paste has dealt with former sins.
Arise to rainbow bells as life begins.
8/16/2018
Does she not know?
That when I sleep my mind wanders wills to find her,
And when the cold morning arrives,
And I awake alone,
I wonder if I should call her,
Boisterously announce my awakening,
From a night of restless thoughts and dreams of her,
And as I sit sipping coffee awaiting her arrival,
(Why for the first time in remembrance am I on time and even early?)
Time turns endless and then she appears,
My heart melts at the sight
Of her kinky hair, cute feet
And beautiful smile,
So awash am I can’t even fathom the arms of another.
And still she cries out from the sea
For me to prove my love…
And my passion grows insatiably!
Her anguish and belittlement of our love
Cold steel that streaks my heart
For all the while I’m in the
Boat beside her
Laboring ore the oars
That keep us future bound.
Stop, drop and roll on my heart, again,
it's not the end...!!
One more time, it's ok, I'll still feel fine
( It took a lot of tears and time to feel fine !! )
You've exhausted all means to chop and cut,
the knife was dull...!!
And mangle my truth, happiness up and left,
hate was it's threat...!!
What you didn't expect was the lack of respect,
or no respect...!!
Ignited obsessions for revenge, your life depending
on heart staying hinged,
just a little...!!
Belittlement borne blazing self esteem and confidence,
not less...!!
Knife slicing words not hurled unless others were around,
BIG MISTAKE...!!
Created a monster with such rage and wrath,
a monster *****... !!
A wise one would avoid it's treacherous path,
don't slip...in your ****...!!
Survival mode to the enth degree
you created this melee..!!
A womans' scorn ignited when deceived
by a man...
Better watch out, this was NOT MY HEARTS' PLAN !!!!!!!!
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