confusion slips into our beds
games the minds of gentle heads
twists familiars to never-beens
personas dark mask every scene
far away from hearth and home
on echoes' endless shouts I roam
in vain retrieve my former life
confusion wakes ~ a butcher knife
Categories:
beens, change, dark, horror, night,
Form: Couplet
(Verse 1)
This empty room still hums your favorite song,
Sunlight cuts the dust where your laugh belonged.
I trace the cracks in every worn-out tile,
Searching for your shadow one more mile.
(Chorus)
**I can still feel you like a phantom limb—**
A ghost in every room, under my skin.
This house is just a cage of might-have-beens...
*I reach for you, but all I touch is wind.*
(Verse 2)
Your coffee cup’s a fossil on the shelf,
I talk to it like I talk to myself.
That sweater in the closet still holds heat,
Smells of rain and old dreams, bittersweet.
(Chorus)
**I can still feel you like a phantom limb—**
A ghost in every room, under my skin.
This house is just a cage of might-have-beens...
*I reach for you, but all I touch is wind.*
(Bridge)
The neighbors say, *"You should turn the page..."*
But how do I quit a ghost I still stage?
These walls rehearse the echo of your name—
A silent fire only you could tame.
(Outro Chorus)
**I can still feel you like a phantom limb...**
*(Whispered, fading)*
*...All I touch is wind.*
Categories:
beens, heartbroken, independence day, inspiration,
Form: Lyric
He drew maps for a living.
Not of roads, but of promises
Soft lines where her laughter once lived,
tiny arrows
where her eyes used to point
when she couldn’t say stay.
She was the sea
Ever folding into herself,
a hymn of salt and leaving.
No harbor could hold her,
no anchor dared ask.
He traced her tides in silence,
built cartographies of could-have-beens,
and marked in inkless ink:
here be ghosts.
She tried, once,
to live on land
to breathe stillness,
to fold her waves into windows.
But the sea is not a creature
meant for ceilings.
So she left.
And the world kept spinning
in the wrong direction.
In some other verse,
some bend of time,
she learns to stay.
He forgets to wait.
But the ending,
like gravity,
refuses to rewrite itself.
Every love story
has a map.
Theirs had no destination.
Only a compass
that spun
and spun
and spun.
--
April 2024
Categories:
beens, break up, lost love,
Form: Free verse
I SIT IN STILLNESS, HOURS UNFOLD,
THE SKY TURNS SILVER, THEN DEEP GOLD.
A CLOCK TICKS SOFT UPON THE WALL,
A VOICE TO FAINT, A DISTANT CALL.
THE AIR IS THICK WITH MIGHT-HAVE-BEENS,
LIKE WHISPERED THOUGHTS ON QUIET WINDS.
EACH BREATH A PAUSE, EACH PAUSE A PRAYER,
FOR SOMETHING MORE THAN EMPTY AIR.
I PLANT MY HOPES LIKE SEEDS IN SAND,
AND STRETCH TIME OUT WITH OPEN HANDS.
THE WORLD KEEPS MOVING, UNAWARE,
WHILE I REMAIN, JUST WAITING THERE.
NOT ALL WHO WAIT ARE LOST OR WEAK,
SOME HOLD THEIR SILENCE WHILE THEY SEEK.
A LOVER'S STEP, A SIGN, A FLAME,
THE THINGS THAT COME BUT NEVER NAME.
SO I WILL WAIT, NOT OUT OF FEAR,
BUT FOR THE THING I HOLD MOST DEAR.
AND THOUGH IT HURTS, I STILL BELIEVE,
SOME GIFTS ARE SLOW, BUT WORTH THE GRIEF.
Categories:
beens, for him,
Form: Rhyme
Out here,
where time forgets its name
and distance wears no shoes,
a single atom dreams
of being seen.
A nebula breathes in slow creation—
a phosphorous wound
stitched by light,
spilling stars like secrets
never meant for mouths.
What lilt remains in the voice of the void?
Even silence has shape here—
serpentine,
a slither of ancient radiation
wrapping the bones of galaxies,
like a mother tucking in
what she cannot keep.
We call it space,
but it’s more:
a cascade of almosts,
of might-have-beens and never-weres,
falling endlessly
through a gravity
that remembers everything
but forgives nothing.
The lunar dust knows—
how soft it is to vanish,
how even your footprints
can outlive your breath.
And Earth, blue with burden,
floats like a question
we’ve stopped trying to answer—
spinning myths into maths,
naming fire with numbers,
hoping to out-code
the ache.
There is a myriad of ways to be alone.
But here,
in this tender, terrible expanse,
we are together
in our unknowing.
And maybe that
is enough
to make us stars.
Categories:
beens, space,
Form: Free verse
Unwanted thoughts, they haunt my mind,
In shadows deep, they're intertwined.
Like whispers in the silent night,
They steal my peace, obscure the light.
They creep in slow, without a sound,
In every quiet moment found.
A storm of doubt, a sea of fears,
They echo all my hidden tears.
Memories of a distant past,
Regrets that hold and grip so fast.
The what-ifs and the might-have-beens,
The haunting dance of unseen sins.
I try to push them far away,
To guard my heart and keep them at bay.
Yet still, they come, relentless, bold,
Their icy fingers take their hold.
In daylight hours and darkest dreams,
They lurk within my silent screams.
A never-ending, cruel refrain,
That binds my soul in endless pain.
I search for peace, for respite’s touch,
A moment free, a breath, a crutch.
Yet unwanted thoughts, they cling and stay,
A shadow that won’t fade away.
But still I fight, with weary heart,
To tear their grip, to break apart.
In hopes that one day I’ll be free,
From unwanted thoughts that imprison me.
Categories:
beens, anxiety, depression, dream, horror,
Form: Rhyme
WARHOL
silk screen
has beens
PICASSO
three way
display
GIACOMO BALLA
motion
picture
Categories:
beens, art,
Form: Footle
Newspapers can be logs for the fire
or non-functional rolling pins
Obsolete as white-stockinged town criers
along with typewriters ~ has-beens
Categories:
beens, farewell, fire, funeral, today,
Form: Rhyme
Humours turn acrid near
The silent seer.
Escaping absentees scamper
Further down the hole that holds their likeness
Extinguish | fatal obscurant | visions.
| fata obscura |
Of thriving, lively fauna
Prostrate to impelling images
Schizoid prognostic narratives
Told through the burning lens.
Up above somewhere;
Unmade's secret eddies meet the Void's effacing means
Flickery shades mar anthropic soil
Never-beens, vestiges, cloud-faced mutes
Watch, sneer, hiss from interstitial galas
Covet your unearned gift of certain being
All skies slide to promenade our spaces
In front of that greatest-deep mirror
Most cower at the approach.
Croatoan, Boskopoid, Nephilim ires boil, rise
Evaporate.
Thin air marks their omphalos.
Sinews worn down and slumped in buried peat
Undisturbed lighthouses scry
Souls echo Xibalba's memory
Nulled sheets linger over its impossibility.
No divine clap can hide the noise of nothing.
No resplendent scheme can stop time's voyage surely ebbing.
Never will you win in wagers against the real.
Anbirnybbid Ocegenr.
Categories:
beens, silence, visionary, words,
Form: Free verse
She sits on a stool
in the middle of a yesterday room
eyes squeezed shut
as her phantoms circle ‘round
circle ‘round 'n 'round
their hollowed voices chant an endless
why? why did you…? whydidyou??
mantra|mantra_ing
from all that hard mined deep time
from days long-ago-past yet-not
those never-really-past days of ago.
their discordant chords siphoned
from yesterdays' poor performance
those depths of times behind her, yet-not,
those never-really-locked loosely keyed doors
from all that of the 'whatever' she
stuffed behind closed doors.
Her eyes with dead-ended sight fused shut
for she cannot force them open
for she cannot bear
to see the tragic
sweet lives randomly
pieced apart
strewn crazily
at her feet…
all that of all the what
of those shoulda-beens
all that
what-coulda-shoulda-mighta-been
but wasn't.
Categories:
beens, bereavement, divorce, remember, sad,
Form: Free verse
I choose to forget what pains to remember
there are no ifs or reflections of might of beens
over is finished and slowly the memory fades.
Emptiness besiege me
loneliness fulfilled me
solitude accompanied me long long ago.
What of love, is it real or just an affliction
is the joy overwhelms soon to be discarded
hurting remains and scars.
What of life, do we dare beholden to no one
or meek as the masses quiet as a mouse
surviving from scraps of the fat cats.
Does death play with our souls
break down our bodies and rot our will
accepting death's hand as he closes our eyes forever.
All is a circle on a deceptive cycle
round and round we spin
to end as we begin.
Naked and afraid wanting the touch of security
hunger for being
needing the arms of love to hold us.
Sleepless nights, dreamless nights
staring into an abyss of eternal darkness
I catch a glimpse of you.
Sound of your laughter, the feel of your body
a tear streams from my eye
I close my eyes and see your face.
Broken... the cycle stops
once again I reach for your hand
and you open my heart with your own.
Categories:
beens, death, life, love,
Form: Free verse
Each step I take along the way is more than I can endure
and every curve in the lonesome road becomes a detour
back to you because movin' on is somethin' I just can't do,
not if movin' on means no longer will I be with you
I can't explain what I hear when you don't say a thing
But my heart dances to every word of the songs you sing
I feel an ache so bittersweet when with a ragged breath
I whisper and you're not here. Juliet dies another death
I can't rewrite history, but if I could I'd steal time from stars
All I can do is pencil in, "I loved you" on pages of memoirs
When dying embers of us become ash without a spark
I'll be lost without love in my life, wandering in the dark
Emptiness is a painful emotion no dictionary can explain
A chorus of 'What could've beens' I'll echo in sad refrain.
But what can I possibly say to console my broken heart
when it realizes that we're no longer just fingertips apart?
Categories:
beens, lost love,
Form: Rhyme
"Good Morning"
The words you used to tell me,
When yesterday seemed shaking,
But somehow made my heart flee.
It was somehow music
Lyrics seeping in my mind,
That brought me to a magic
Of a life I couldn't find.
The note you always hum,
When it's difficult to sleep
Leaving my heart so numb,
Through the nights I always weep.
It still plays in my hindsight
All the 'should have beens'
When everything seem so right
But I know I will not win.
It made my heart crumple,
How could I sustain?
All the lyrics you mumbled,
There's no more I can contain.
I can't believe myself
Believing in this magic
Of the song, I can't help
But to leave me so tragic.
It was my foolish heart
That brought me to your lyrics
I need to set apart
From your lies disguised in music.
Categories:
beens, cry, feelings, goodbye,
Form: Rhyme
i see reflections of myself
all the could have beens
pile around me
grudging my steps
better never an option
how to give love you have never felt
so i feign my humanity
with a crooked smile
and eyes that lock
me in my emptiness
Categories:
beens, poetry,
Form: Free verse
I’d be lying
If I said that I was happy for this day
It’s my once a year reminder
Of when my Angel slipped away
With your hand, went my heart
As I watched the smile he put upon your face
Now the hardest thing I’ll ever have to fake
Is when you hear me say….
Happy anniversary
From the fool who still can’t believe
It wasn’t me
Standing there at the end of the aisle…
Every moment I’m forced to live
With the what could’ve beens and this undying wish
Another years gone
Happy anniversary
Please understand I want
All the best for you in life
It’s just hard to watch ones fate
Standing by another’s side
If not for you I wouldn’t know
How one can truly touch a soul
That’s why this is so hard for me
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
From the fool who still can’t believe
It wasn’t me
Standing there at the end of the aisle…
Now every moment I’m forced to live
With the what could’ve beens and this undying wish
Another years gone
So happy anniversary…
He’s a better man than I’ll ever be
For he’s touched the Angel that I watched leave
Just know I love you
Happy anniversary
Categories:
beens, anniversary, deep, devotion, emotions,
Form: Lyric
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