Anxiety
A mental condition characterized by excessive apprehensiveness about real or perceived threats
Anxiety is such a fickle thing
It can wrap around my throat like a noose, choking me until I am unable to breathe
Or it can hide in the background, whispering poison thoughts in my ear, tainting every situation with distress and uncertainty
But no matter the form it takes, it never leaves me
My constant companion
An unwilling partnership forged in memories I have lost to time
It has been around in all my biggest moments
There for every low and every high
In every memory, leaching the color from my successes
Darkening the shadows of my failures
Anxiety is the chains that keep me locked in my own mind
Never truly me
I am only the carefully curated picture my anxiety paints, and allows the world to see
Do I even exist without anxiety?
Is it proper to apologize if I have been harmed?
I don't fall or stagger when I'm downward
Your success isn't mine; don't destroy my mind
I'm strong, not caring around the foothold
So don't dismay; you're not a danger to me or scold.
When the news gets out, I'll be excited!
Utterly, the people who love you are glad.
Despite being almost slain, he was not free.
Would you aim to be in control? to earn glee
The strength of your domain will fade as per plea.
Your labor and thoughts will be useless.
It's not shocking that you're erroneous.
You've just revealed deceptions thus afar.
And I remain aloof despite human anger.
apprehensive to walk these alleyways
before me i see violence and filth
colliding in the shadows of night
disheveled piles of trash strewn about
emptied cans tipped towards houses
fences fighting to stand together
gathered only by the gates that keep them
holding back nothing but time
inscriptive graffiti on garage doors
just outside them, expensive cars sit
kept inside are years of memories
layered in unpolished dust
memories that hold no value
nevertheless are valued more
only they eventually are forgotten
perhaps like the homeless as they lie hidden
quietly tucked in the corners of darkness
resting on nicely manicured lawns
snuggled against the base of trees
that offer shelter from the weather
umbrellaed branches sip the rain
veins slip beneath needles
where temporary escapes linger on
xanthic flesh casts shadows of death
yet there is no ambition
zeal for life seems to be gone
02/08/2020
Sunbaked entrance steps and climbers amidst,
lay the washroom secluded.
Door opened to reveal its acrid smell.
Provoking minds to give thoughts a space.
Anxiety,apprehensiveness,shrills and thrills,
laughter to sarcasm its aroma consisted.
The room as if sealed everything
reverbrating inside,assuring confidentiality.
Dragging psyche back to the reflections
created by the full-sized mirror.
Either to enhance walks or imperfections of face.
Motioning oneself in and out,
just to retain the 'prim and proper' attitude.
Lip balms and kohl sticks were gaped at,
because insouciance with girls
went hand in hand.
Belonged to a school,
no less than a chaotic circus.
No matter holding whatever significance,
it'll remain enclosed with mystique emotions,
that once resumed in my teenage.