You are alive,
squirming in my hand
like a dissatisfied infant
or a fish searching for water.
You are alive, we are alive.
There is something the same in us-
some spark undefinable,
except by contrast to its cold absence: death.
You have a mind and survival instincts
and stoic eyes like a sixth sense I cannot recognize.
The quiet of the dissection room
is heavy like the quiet of a tomb.
You would not understand my appology
and are too young yet to sing,
as I damn you to this silence eternally.
What is the gentlest way to end a life?
Oh certainly not this.
And which thought is more sickening
that God will not forgive this small act of killing
or that He deem it no sin in need of forgiving?
You were alive in my hands.
I am alive, you were alive.
You were in my hand.
Now everything should be different,
but life is so fragile and commonly broken
that everything keeps moving.
Like Cain, like Ivan, I keep moving
because life is for the living, for the killers,
for the things that bite
wandering the earth until they too are bitten.
This is coming from a desperate heart
Feelings that even the heart itself cant explain
Sometings i blame myself for being bald
I come to hate the little guts i had i to tell you what i feel
I thought i would somehow get close to your heart
And tell you the secrete that mine hides
But now i seem to have driven you away
Cath,truly speeking im dying inside
And i always blame myself for expossing my feelings to you
Here is my letter of appology to you
Please forgive me for being honest
Please dont drift so faraway from my world
Let me find a consolation in your smiles
I cant promise not to love you
But i can promise to keep it to me
Maybe you can be my friend
Maybe i can be a better friend
This is my letter of apology to you
Please Cath,forgive me
I wish I could talk to you
tell you how I feel
that will never happend
you don't understand anything I say.
We started out friends, looked up to you,
admired you in how strong you were,
always there for me, no matter where I was
you'd find me, hold me , tell me everything will be o.k.
Without you, I felt so empty,
dreaming of the day that you'd ask me to be
your wife, live in a big house, a white picket fence
children we could call our own, a home.
This relationship has turned into a living hell.
I don't know any more why I'm here or even alive
a dream came true, that dream ended way to soon,
that night you pushed me that minute the sickness began
I'm not going to dwell on the past
I don't know how to forgive you,
you can't seem to recognize how wrong you are
no appology, just more justifications to cover your lies.
My heart has torn to the point of no return
My God Mike I Love you so much
why does it have to be this way?
If I had one wish It would be
I'd be enough for you, make your life complete
realize were soulmates, Love Unconditionally
Before it's to late!!
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