Definition: programmed cell death/cellular suicide
in an attempt to remedy damaged components,
neatly shrinking and dismantling damaged parts.
A cognitive dissonant conscious
exists at a crossroads.
My mind fractures at the mere thought
of going back into the closet of deferred romantic pursuits,
even if hiding can ensure survival.
My dilemma encapsulates the quintessential concept of coming out.
Taking a step out of closeted comfortability
opens up the avenue for external toxicity,
while retreating into latent potential is
unintentional self-immolation.
CANCER
It began as a swelling
Localized swelling
Painless at first
Then painful
Then came a period of recession
Oh!
What a sweet relief
Wellness reigns again
Then again the swelling
Only bigger now
Persistent
Bigger
And bigger
They say its cancer
And it has come to stay
No cure, they say
The cancer has metastasized
Through lymphatic vessels
To distant regions
Where it eventually
Commits apoptosis.
The conqueror
Has conquered itself
Relief for the conquered
Succour has come
Finally.
Sometimes I feel inhuman, like I am an alien trapped in the skin of *****sapiens, trying to fit in. This attire doesn’t suit me-- every act is pain. I look around… They move through life so easily… I want to scream. I want to find language that they will understand. Can they tell my struggle? Would they love me if they knew? I take a deep breath. I protect my cover and lift these lips into a smile. If I let them in, they will shut me in the dark. All will examine, dissect, gawk over. Some already do.
Don’t worry, I want to tell them. I work for no leader; I am no cancer; I pose no threat. I am just a mutation in the matrix of society, a minor misprint. Homogeneity will seek me out and destroy me… or I will soon myself.
It's the life cycle of every special thing.
Amigdala cells perished by apoptosis,
Sommer's sector succumbed to sclerosis,
Limbic system exists
In drug-induced bliss...
"You are doomed-
That's your long-term prognosis"
Slight vibrations quake my heart
I long to hear her silent tone
Intervals are my demise
Apoptosis in lovers cell?
Thoughts race towards self-destruction
Divers expect a fatal crash
No fulfillment, no peace of mind
Nymphos in catholic school
Emoticons con my emotions
Truth lays in these dotted eyes
Blue crashing waves pull me under
No more desire to fight this pool
Curb my cravings of fasting hunger
I delight through unspoken solitude
A heart that beats is one that lives
My heart waits to hear the tune
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