"It's 5 am in the morning,
And I just can't stop thinking,
As I wait here, my anxiety continues to build up,
And the more I just sit and think, it's just gets even more tough,
Thinking about the decisions I've made, and continue to make,
That have lead, or will only lead to more pain and heartbreak,
I've tried thinking positive, and holding out hope,
Because it's the only I know how to cope,
But lately, doing that even feels like it's not enough,
For it feels like the whole world is watching me, and screaming at me to give up,
But I continue to move forward, and fight, every single battle of every single day anyway,
Even it doesn't help with taking the pain away,
Maybe there is some hope, in this little heart and mind of mine,
But that hope slowly fades away, with the passage of time,
And I guess at this point, all I can really do is to prepare myself, for what's coming soon,
Which is either my breakthrough to success, or my enevitable doom,"
- Wallace Shane
How is it that you touch me without hands from afar heating my soul and awakening the deepest depths of my being? Stirring my mind into lustful wonder, lifting me up, then pulling me under. Swaying me to and fro I close my eyes and bite my lip. I fight to sustain my poise of self-control. Thus of my honor to redeem.
Are you here, beside me, within me with your warmth, your strength?
“Tis Nay! nothing but my dreams taunting and teasing me so. Curse this reality of dreadful meaning I whence!
With tightly clenched eyes refusing to open or to realize the truth_ not wanting to see _ I am trapped in my dreams. Laying in void dread of anticipation not able to bear the anguish of my frustration in silence I scream.
“There is no one else here, no one… only me”! Curse this wretched emptiness_ your fading voice whispering my name. No, no, no, not again I moan … holding on to the last, not allowing this moment to pass. To leave me once again anxiously alone and victimized by Loves’ dissolute games.
***A weee long time ago!
Can't wait to see you, anxious for tonight.
Anxious for tonight, we'll hold hands left within right.
We'll hold hands left within right, as your eyes sparkle amongst the moons light.
As your eyes sparkle amongst the moons light, kissing your lips that are parted so slight.
Kissing your lips that are parted so slight, hearts beating as one breast to chest so tight.
Hearts beating as one, breast to chest so tight, we'll hold hands left within right.
We'll hold hands left within right, anxious for tonight.
Anxious for tonight, can't wait to see you.
A colourful room
A disorganized mess
My brain.
My thoughts take control
I feel like I'm going to hell.
Life sucks.
Everyone is just as frustrated with me
As I am with life.
People have their own life to worry about
They don't need to worry about mine.
I feel very alone
My thoughts go off independently
I have no control.
My subcausious parinoid mind takes over.
Wheels are constantly turning
Going too fast to keep up.
If I just go to bed
And go to sleep
I can wake up when I am equipped
To handle all this reality.
Anxiously I wait for you, weird Russian girl
hoping to talk with you again. Though odd
you seem to me,you seem to me a pearl.
What folly I write, yet you I applaud,
for in you something different I can sense,
unknown yet pleasing as temple incense,
that delights the senses though shrouded in
the mystery that veils our souls within.
Step away with a tear in your eye
Blow a kiss and wave goodbye
A few more steps and look back again
I’ve lost a love a soul mate and a friend.
You have gone and left me broken hearted at my core
I will wait anxiously for you at my door
Your scent still lingers in the air
The taste from your mouth cannot compare
The warmth of your hand still feels sublime
Hopefully I will know these things again in time
You have gone and left me broken hearted at my core
I will wait anxiously for you at my door
In my mind I can still see your smile that you did bestow
I see your face in every pane and shadow
Everything simply reminds me of you
Your return would be dream and a wish come true
You have gone and left me broken hearted at my core
I will wait anxiously for you at my door