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You were always on my mind

I hurt you in all the places you loved me, dear mother, I’m sorry. Been using my tongue to cut through the demons in my head, been trying to hide the monster I’ve become. I don’t want to bring shame to your name, dear mother, I’m sorry for the person I am and can’t stop being, for letting myself go blind when you were always on my mind. Words can only do so much, dear mother, I’m sorry, so I’ll gather the tears, the pain I gave, keep them in my chest, be brave.

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Valsa George

Date: 4/14/2025 11:56:00 PM

Dear Hiba, I see your heart exploding with regret. There is an inseparable bond between a mother and a daughter, though at times harsh words and actions might break the ties. In your case, the period extended beyond the usual time span. Naturally, both of you must have longed to glue up the broken ties, but couldn't do it, may be because of some vanity or ego. Remember, there is no stain that can't be washed away with tears of repentance. All you have to do now is to forgive yourself. Very emotive. I feel greatly touched by your poem.

Hiba Junaid
Date: 4/15/2025 2:01:00 AM

Valsa... thank you for writing such a comforting, genuine response. I can just tell that it came from the heart. I love my mother very much, and she loves me too, but I fear I have taken that love for granted one too many times. I want to improve, because she deserves better. Thank you for consoling me <3

CayCay Jennings

Date: 3/20/2025 8:51:00 AM

Often some try to console me, assuming a write personal, w/o any mention of poem. So, I want to 1st say, you wrote a great, emotive poem. I felt it due to all I've been thru w/ my Mom for about 10 years. She grew spiritually ill despite my tries to lead her to light and became the woman who murdered my Mom, causing me to mourn and grieve. So, if true, I relate to the pain & tell you to forgive yourself, just as she should and God already has. I suspect for both of us, Karma was involved. CayCay

Hiba Junaid
Date: 4/15/2025 1:54:00 AM

;( that sounds like something that would traumatize any child. I hope she sees both for her sake and yours how blessed she is.

CayCay Jennings
Date: 3/21/2025 8:00:00 AM

metaphorical, a stranger with stinking-thinking now inhabits my mom's body, one who is blind to harmony, love and all the blessings she's received in life

Hiba Junaid
Date: 3/21/2025 3:21:00 AM

Thank you for complementing both the poem, and for being brave enough to share your experience. I do not know if the death you speak of was metaphorical or literal, but I imagine any would be painful beyond imagination. Sending you virtual hugs, and trying "the butterfly hug" for myself. Be Blessed.

Tom Woody

Date: 6/27/2024 6:01:00 AM

I lost mine in November and dad last month. Sadly, we were estranged for over thirty years, but reconciled right before the end. If you get a chance see my poem - To the dad I once knew

Hiba Junaid
Date: 6/27/2024 9:02:00 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss, Woody ;( I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. May God Bless her and your dad - may they be together in heaven so you can meet them there. I'll definitely give To the dad I once knew a read. Hugs, Hiba <3

Constance La France

Date: 6/24/2024 3:35:00 PM

Hiba, I like this poem, so full of deep love and regrets, my mom is in heaven and there are words I wish that I would have said and some I wish that I had not said, but we had a great bond that even death cannot break, Constance

Hiba Junaid
Date: 6/27/2024 9:37:00 AM

Hey Constance, glad to see you here. I'm sorry for your profound loss ;( I wish your mother peace in the highest ranks of heaven and I hope you can meet her there. Stay strong <3

Silent One

Date: 6/7/2024 11:46:00 AM

Hiba, your poem is a moving exploration of guilt, love, and the complexity of personal struggle. It eloquently captures the conflicting emotions of wanting to be better for the sake of a loved one while grappling with one's own inner turmoil. The repeated apologies and direct address to the mother highlight the depth of the poet's regret and love, making this a deeply touching and relatable piece.

Hiba Junaid
Date: 6/7/2024 9:42:00 PM

Thank you so very much, Silent One for appreciating the emotions behind this piece. I am grateful. Love, Hiba.