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Wonderland V:The Chef's Tale

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Originally published: 19th July 2020

Image by gR

With my thanks and apologies to Lewis Carroll and Geoffrey Chaucer.


THE WONDERLAND SERIES

I:      Prologue
II:    The Hatter's Tale
III:   The Watchmaker's Tale
IV:   The Hairdresser's Tale
V:    The Chef's Tale
VI:   The Sailor's Tale
VII:  The Preacher's Tale
VIII: Conclusion


Morning The Innkeeper checked his watch once again Hoping the chef's feelings weren't hurt. The last time they were, he arrived two hours late And then left, serving just his dessert. Sadly the chef, on this day of all days Turned up filthy, flies open and drunk. A black cat meowed as the chef stumbled in; He was unkempt and cursing and stunk. The Innkeeper's head sank deep in his hands As he needed his chef to be right. The Tabard was busy and fully booked up And was hosting a meeting that night. Noon To make matters worse, the chef's wife appeared It was NOT what was needed at all. She grabbed at chef's hair and kicked open his shin And threw dishes and plates at the wall. The Innkeeper tried to separate both As utensils flew wild through the air Then chef lost his balance taking with him a shelf And pepper dispersed everywhere. The chef lay there slumped and silent and still He was bloodied and bruised on the floor. His wife and the Innkeeper looked at each other As chef sneezed and then let out a snore. Night With her husband in clinic the chef's wife revealed The reason as to why he was mad: - "Earlier that day he had finally found out He was not my child's natural dad. He took all of my money and spent it on drink And the police were then sadly involved. He falsely accused me of harming my son And that issue has not been resolved." Later That Night Nobody ate at The Tabard for nights But the Innkeeper learnt something instead: - "..So I am your lover AND the father as well" He said smiling to chef's wife in bed.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 7/22/2022 11:08:00 AM
Another dark and twisted tale of love, murder, and broken people! Loving the serial drama, Gary. Am I reading too much into the phrase "just his dessert" as a pun on "just desserts"? Maybe so, but that's how I have come to approach these tales, with a microscopic lens seeking out clues and connections. So much more fun that simply reading a poem; like reading a Christie mystery, the reader is given the challenge of remembering details throughout the arc of the story to piece together how they will all intersect. There is pathos, whimsy, and mystery sprinkled throughout ~ love it!
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Gary Radice
Date: 7/22/2022 11:55:00 AM
John you are spot in with the 'just desserts' :) I love Agatha Christie - my family and I spent a lovely week in a cottage next to the Greenway Estate Devon UK where she spent her summer holidays. I pinched the description of Chaucer's cook to describe our chef here. Duchess, pepper, flying utensils, poor care of baby etc. come courtesy of Wonderland. I do like leaving subtle clues between the lines so as to speak. :) I'm going to sit down over the weekend and have a read of more of your own poems John. Love this site. Cheers - Gary
Date: 11/30/2020 9:07:00 AM
Gary: It may be your talent that gets me through the pandemic. I've lost track of the number of times I've enjoyed your "stuff" since I found your list. Thank you so much for so many laughs. Keep them coming. oldbuck
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Gary Radice
Date: 11/30/2020 9:20:00 AM
Old buck, I feel really honoured reading your comments. :) Cheers - Gary
Date: 11/20/2020 2:57:00 PM
What a twist at the end Gary, I enjoyed the read immensely... Belle
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Gary Radice
Date: 11/22/2020 1:33:00 PM
Thanks Belle! I love twists but have to admit the twist here was a last minute thought. :)
Date: 10/25/2020 6:34:00 AM
Ha ha! What a twist Gary! Linda
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Gary Radice
Date: 10/25/2020 9:39:00 AM
Glad you liked it Linda! I love a story with a twist..and love writing them :) Cheers - Gary
Date: 7/24/2020 12:45:00 PM
Gary - absolutely loved this poem - and congratulations on the top spot - well deserved! David
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Gary Radice
Date: 7/24/2020 1:09:00 PM
Thanks for reading and your kind comments David. Cheers - Gary
Date: 7/23/2020 4:28:00 PM
I kind of had a feeling it was going in that direction LOL. This was very amusing Gary. Congratulations on your wonderful first placement! Blessings xxoo
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Gary Radice
Date: 7/24/2020 12:04:00 AM
Thank you Connie. I really appreciate your comments :) Cheers - Gary
Date: 7/23/2020 5:33:00 AM
A masterpiece, Gary. Big CONGRATS! Janice
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Gary Radice
Date: 7/23/2020 5:43:00 AM
Hi Janice - Thank you for your wonderful words! Appreciated. :)
Date: 7/22/2020 10:16:00 PM
I agree with Jenne. This reminds me of Caucer. Well done. Well crafted. Congratulations!
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Gary Radice
Date: 7/23/2020 12:08:00 AM
Thank you so much Sam! :) The poem had much emphasis on The Canterbury Tales and particularly Chaucer's The Cook (The Chef) ie open sore on shin, flies open, love of alcohol I 'mashed' this up with a few Alice references and transplanted personality traits of the Duchess & her cook in Wonderland to chef's wife in the poem: The throwing of plates and utensils, violent mood, questionable care of baby, the pepper. Cheers :) Gary
Date: 7/19/2020 7:23:00 AM
Gary, I think Carroll and Chaucer would be smiling as much as I am at your ability to tell tales. I was enrapt with the story and your rhyming. Must admit I didn't see the ending you give readers, but it was so appropriate. I think the innkeeper was fortunate that chef didn't pick up a clever and.... Excellent writing!
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Gary Radice
Date: 7/19/2020 7:49:00 AM
..Off with his head! I was tempted Jenna :) Thank you so much for reading and your lovely, encouraging comments. I really appreciate your visit. Cheers :) Gary

Book: Shattered Sighs