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Women Aren'T Supposed To Have Beards Like You Santa
Women Aren'T Supposed To Have Beards Like You Santa
I.
There are so many things that I desire,
oh, please Santa, give me what I fancy-
I’m a woman with needs, so much required,
now here’s my list, I’m getting too antsy!
Laser hair removal system for one,
you know sir, the kind that doesn’t even hurt?
Cuz’ not only would it be so much fun,
it would be easier for me to flirt.
No man wants a girl with gross facial hair,
Chewie Chewbacca has nothing on me-
I need a delicate skin tone so fair,
not a five o’clock shadow so hairy.
I beg of you, to fill my last request,
so that I may always look my darn best!
II.
I’ve been a lil’ naughty, I must confess,
dipped my toes in cold water full of ice-
Ate too many Snickers and stole that dress,
Santa, I didn’t even have to think twice!
What else have I done that has been so wrong?
yes, maybe I should keep you in the loop-
Walking my puppy, and strolling along,
started storming, I didn’t pick up his poop!
Or what about the time I shh-ed that kid,
he was annoyingly singing too loud
in church; then he ran off crying and hid,
his parents couldn’t find him in the large crowd.
See, innocent I never claimed to be,
but I hope you show mercy upon me!
III.
Despite my indiscretions you must know,
I really am a nice girl deep inside-
It’s hard, but I try to go with the flow,
it’s not my fault I’ve got nothin’ to hide!
I beg and plead for you to see the good,
held in the depth of my soul and my heart-
Please know I would do better if I could,
guess New Year’s Day is a good time to start.
Santa, you must have compassion for me,
I know you enjoy having your white beard,
but it’s not normal to be so hairy,
have you seen me lately? I look so weird!
Yes, I’ve been naughty… give me your wisdom---
send a laser hair removal system!
From Your Lips to Santa's Ears Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Phillip Garcia
December 27, 2017
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2017
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