Withering In the Wilderness
I persuaded myself to sleep last night
“it’s good to be alone”.
Why it felt like a deja vu,
I have no clue.
Wait, I recall those words.
I told myself same the day
you chose his certitude over
a stroll with me in the wilderness
Or so I thought.
Now I’ve become an obdurate liar.
So much so that I believe what I say.
But you shouldn’t darling,
lest I fall into oblivion.
I’m doing just fine without you.
There, I lied again.
This lie is new,
but the feeling is same
Because my heart is deaf
to the rantings of my thoughts,
as if to punish me for loving you.
When you said goodbye that night,
aboard the train going where
your love is appreciated.
I knew all you wanted to hear
was ‘don’t go darling’.
But indecision was my decision.
Split between having something
to hold on to and having
nothing to hold me back.
But as I go down this quicksand,
I wish I had chosen the former.
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