Will You Be Proud of Me

Oh, my father, I have tried to walk the narrow way of truth. True to my heart and true to my mind. True to my body and true to my soul. Sometimes I think I am so much like you. At other times, I think there is a fair gap in our identities. But, though I didn't know the words to say then, and I still don't know - I do know that I love you and always hoped to make you proud. My hero - so strange and noble, wise and good, brave and armed ever with a smile. None could claim you did not live your life with pure and zealous excellence. I'm a quieter man that you, Father, and I'm not yet ready to lead. I'm less sure of myself and the world in general ... did doubts ever stop your sleep? I'm less accurate with the gun, less sure on my feet, less giving, less grateful, less grand. But, oh, my father, I have tried. I've steered my career down a different path than yours - one that matches me more, I think. I've struggled to master myself, and, with God's grace, I've grown to be more than I could be alone. I've chased creation in the arts, trying so hard to leave behind a legacy. Different than yours, but true to my heart. I finally told a woman how much I loved her. Oh, my father, are you proud of me? And I'm getting older again ... another turn of the clock. How many more? How many more? And I'm growing tired again ... soon I shall sleep. How many nights more? But you gave me the model to live strong in the face of death. Pray for your son as I pray for you. Help me to stay on the path of the right and the true. Someday, when work is done, we shall rise anew. I know you'll be proud, if I do all I can do. 14 April 2023