Why

Disgusted by this artificial feelings I want to speak from my heart I listen to it all I hear is a hollow beat The rhythm out of control I try to calm myself Still my heart beat faster Like its about to burst form chest Is death upon me Is my life over Do I deserve to die All thoughts running throught my head Then I fell a touch It relives me My heart starts to slow down Time freezes O’god is this heaven Or is this hell But no its worse this cruel crocked creature That never leaves me alone It strikes when I less expect it Making me believe is it real ……..love God please say it is but no Its just one of cupids tricks To fool me by her bright smile and her beautiful voice WHY GOD WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO !!!!! WHY DO YOU MAKE SO GUILABLE WHY IS IT MY PUNISHEMENT FOR MY SINS I HAVE YET COMMIT JUST ANSWER ME PLEASE …..why T_T