Why
I can't love nobody until I love myself.
So I let a "good thing" go.
Is that selfish? Is it good.? Because I'm really confused.
I've never had this problem before.
But I guess I never had a chance anyway,
so why am I worried.
I can't miss something that I didn't have, right?
So why am I crying?
Why does this hurt me this much?
Why now, when I should care less?
I didn't care when I was losing that "good thing"?
So why now? It hurts so bad.
I don't like this feeling at all!
It's painful, it's empty, full of hopelessness.
But I still ask why now?
Why does it hurt me to even think about it?
I let that "good thing" go, I just let it leave me,
I didn't even put up a fight.. Why is my love so complicated?
Why do I love that "good thing" with all my heart but I just let it go.
Watched it leave me slowly and didn't try to stop it.
So I ask why now do I care.? It's gone now, I can't get it back.
But I didn't have it, so why am I hurting?
I can't miss something I didn't have!!!
Or did I have it but didn't notice??
Because I loved but didn't show it,
I could of had it but didn't get it,
so why does it hurts??
Because I loved but wasn't loved back.
No it was because I was afraid of rejection.
Afraid of love.
My love is too deep to be given, to have, to love.
That's why I hurt so bad,
because of what I could of had is gone because I was scared,
terrified of the fact that I, Jazzmine Ja'Vonn Porter, was in love.
For the first time.
But I just couldn't take the dreams,
I would have of that "good thing".
They were too much for me to handle!
I didn't have the time to love, think, talk,
or dream of that "good thing".
So I let it go.? Does that make any sense?
I had opportunities,
but I just turned them down for no reason.
I loved that "good thing". But let it go.
What's wrong with me?
It's gone now, I have no more chances,
I can't get it back, It's beyond late to do anything..
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