WHORES AND DIVINE CHICKENS

Until we came to live in Madrid We lived with my parents in Vallelado from Segovia Where my parents had a henhouse On the outskirts of town On the left bank of the Arroyo del Horcajo Sheltered by Cerro de la Bodeguilla. Vallelado is known nationwide For its famous "white garlic" And because all its fellow villagers have "One ear on each side." My mother, tired of ordering us: -Come on, son, daughter, go put the chickens And see if they've laid eggs. With my father's consent, she caught A village helper Who was somewhat silly, but very noble Whom they called "the Smart Ass" Who had only studied elementary school Whose age was unknown Well, some said fifteen And others, forty. If you asked him: -How old are you, Pedrito? He would answer with a foolish expression: -I'm not old enough. None at all! My mother was often seen Walking from home to the henhouse Or from home to the Cega River To wash father and sons' clothes And every two years she would return home From the river or the chicken coop With labour pains. Pedrito "the Smart Ass" Adapted very well to our house. Very happy, especially When my mother said to him: -Pedrito, if you come home to help us Taking care of the chicken coop, cleaning it And bring us the eggs the chickens have laid We'll give you breakfast, lunch, and dinner And if you ask for clean clothes We'll give you a change of clothes. Overjoyed, Pedrito agreed And he went off to the henhouse To see the henhouse, the fifteen chickens "Whores and divine" And the two upright "whore-like" roosters As he himself said. As soon as he entered the henhouse He greeted them, saying: -Good morning have my chickens and roosters. You already have someone to command you. Take good care to lay lots of eggs. And you, roosters Don't answer me by pecking. I have a double-edged razor That I'll stain it with your blood. Pedrito began separating them and naming them: -Get up from there, Carmela. Get up right away That I want to take the three eggs you laid. He named the others: Aurea, Eulogia, Eutimia, Sofronia, Benita Fermina, Constantina, Gorgomia, Heraclia Zosima, Candida, Piperia, Trofima, and Tola. He named the roosters: Theophanes and Bernardo. These roosters, Teófanes and Bernardo If the lady brought a new hen Bought at the Cuéllar Market To replace the killed or slaughtered To make food or broth They would fight among themselves furiously To see who would mount it first. Teophanes almost always won Because Bernardo was a saint Who, humbly, accepted like a monk What Teófanes commanded him: -Bernardo, he told him: You mustn't crow for seven days That if you do it I'll kill you against the henhouse door. Pedrito seemed to be in love with Carmela Because, one day The lady arrived unannounced Seeing Pedrito with her Between his legs next to the jock-strap She asked him in astonishment: -Who died? Was it your Carmela who died? Pedrito answered in two minutes: -No, my lady. She didn't die. I'm waiting for her to lay two eggs To place them in my jock-strap Because I'm missing them from birth. My mother didn't know what to do Whether to turn him around So he'd let the hen go free Or piss herself laughing. Her demons swept my mother in the air Taking her home laughing Leaving Pedrito making sense Of his beloved hen Carmela Like a pedophile priest with children.