WHO AM I
I am a woman of abundance,
not of material possessions;
but more of my gifts or talents,
traits or qualities, temperament
or mental and physical characteristics.
Parts of me that made the woman I become.
At this time in my life, I am
also a free spirited woman sharpening
and enjoying my talents in writing poetry,
dancing, singing, drawing and creativity.
I am a thankful woman for my own
traits or qualities that were developed
from my tumultuous life experiences
and were also strengthened going
through my own path of life.
I am a content woman accepting
myself for knowing my temperament
or mental and physical characteristics,
as well as my strengths and weaknesses.
Being where I am right now was not easy.
Looking back when I was a little girl,
I was raised by my Mommy and was told
about my mother or Mama, her sister.
All I knew then was that my Mommy
loved me unconditionally and I saw her
as kind, giving, loving, hard working
woman helping her parents financially.
She took me to her work sometimes
to show me around, where I danced and sung,
as well as conversed with her co-workers,
who found that I spoke beyond my age.
She had this incredible faith and belief in me
that made me confident and self-assured.
My grandfather loved and adored me.
He was hard working, helpful and kind.
My grandmother loved and taught me manners.
I also had Lola Itang, my grandmother’s cousin,
who loved me and let me be a helper in her stores,
when I was six for I was good in Arithmetic.
Their love, support and belief in me
made me believe in myself and made me
aware that I am self-motivated, head strong,
driven, intuitive and good in problem solving.
They gave me the foundation for hard work.
Five months before turning seven,
my parents and two brothers came
to live with us and everything changed.
Having a Mommy and Mama brought
confusion, discomfiture to my little mind.
In silence, I questioned why my mother gave me,
why she did not care about me and did not
pay attention to me when she was living with us.
Yet, she started giving me responsibilities
of the oldest child to look after my brothers
and helped her with a newborn.
I saw the unfairness of the world at a very
young age through my own mother,
who is not a loving, giving woman.
Who expects everybody to do things for her.
She is the opposite of my Mommy.
I vowed to myself then to never be like her.
My grandfather died when I was ten.
My Mommy and grandmother moved
to the city and I was left with my parents.
I went to the city on the week-ends alone
to spend time with my Mommy.
The two hour drive in the bus each way
made me rely on my instincts to be safe
and I developed independence.
My mother’s cold treatment made me resilient,
adaptable to her coldness and to my Mommy’s
warmth and opened my eyes to reality.
Life can be easy and wonderful,
as well as harsh, rough, raucous.
Feeling loved, adored and encouraged
and seeing acts of kindness, unselfishness,
hard work made me appreciative and hold on
and pass these values to my children.
These values helped me develop my perceptions
of awareness, understanding and discernment
and institute my philosophies, such as my attitude,
knowledge or critical thinking, moral principles,
spiritual values, purpose and vision in life.
My perceptions and philosophies in life
made me honor and respect my parents
no matter what and showed them my love.
My mother’s inability to give me love is her issue.
The perceptions and philosophies I hold
drive me to spread positivity through poetry
by uplifting, motivating, encouraging others
to give their all on what they do to bring
out the best in them and inspiring to reach
peace, contentment and happiness for these
are decisions and it is up to them to decide.
11/16/20 Silent One It's Part Of Me-Life And The Perceptions
And Philosophies You Hold
Copyright © Marilene Evans | Year Posted 2020