Where Were You

When I was a little girl You told me I was your Anchor You told me I kept you sane You always used our relationship for your personal gain You told me I was your anchor When I was lost at sea I was always there for you But where were you for me? You see anchors are meant to drown You pushed me under water and you never thought to look back down I begged for you to look But my screams were masked by the numbing ocean waves of your massive ego Where were you when I was drowning? I may have been your anchor But that made you my sea You were like the relentless ocean current on a stormy night Every time I came up for air you sucked me back down You wanted me to drown Because it kept you above ground And ?boy ? did you get high You learned to fly and you never thought to come back down And you left me behind in the deep lifeless ocean that you created for yourself Where were you? I was your anchor And you were my sea My struggle to breathe Lost in your dark abyss i tried to come up for air But we all know anchors are too heavy to break the surface And you made me heavy You were the weight in my chest in my breath and in my soul And I stayed under water While you kept getting higher And I waited Where were you? Did you forget that I needed to breathe too? One day after waiting and waiting for you to come down I realised you were too far gone for earths ground And that's when I decided I didn't have to be your anchor I came up for air You weren't there And I finally stopped waiting I gave myself permission to float and it felt ?so ? good With every inhalation of air I shed the weight you left behind And I swam and I swam and I finally left the depths of your ocean Once in awhile, I look up and see a glimpse of you in the clouds But you're not here Not the way I need you to be So I stopped waiting And left your sea behind But I still keep a piece of it with me everywhere I go It's the salt in my sweat and in my tears But I let go of all my fears Because you are apart of me but now I see That I can carry it around without having to drown I'm lighter now I found my breath And I finally stopped looking for you.