Where I can be found

I will celebrate temporary triumphs Little moments when my skin feels like my own The days I wake up without the crushing weight on my chest, setting the elephant aside to greet the dawn I will write profusely , when I feel whole again I know that these minutes are fleeting I can't always recognize myself, or hear my own thoughts anymore There is a void both within me and outside of me A longing for a life that used to be I've been busy drawing blanks Occupied with my sorrow and its visceral weaponry When I can find myself I'm already stretched to thin I've been molded to the fabric of this new existence Abraded and raw where reality meets the skin I have come up with many ways to fold myself Fitting in to the necessary shapes and spaces, can you see the seams My desperate attempts at stitching I've grown weary of trying to keep it together I thought it better to become hollow I want to cry, to scream, to be enraged Instead it has been the numbness I've chosen to embrace Cheers to the small victory Of still having days I get to be me Even if it hurts