Where Did I Go

I miss myself, The self I’ve always aspired to be. But, How can one miss something they’ve never been, Something they’ve never experienced. I miss the body that gets up early, Ready to conquer. I miss the self, I miss the girl who looks in the mirror and falls in love With what she sees, The one whom embraces her curvy body, The one who’s beautiful beyond the, Wound marks, dark marks, stretch marks and scars. I miss the self, That doesn’t drown in self pity and dream of ways of ending one’s life. The one who doesn’t burst out in the middle of the night Or whilst taking a bath or washing dishes. The one whom isn’t an insomniac Who doesn’t swallow her sorrows with junk. I miss the self who wreaks strength and bravery. Where did I lose the self Where is it Has it ever touched this realm ? Can I get the self, back even though I’ve never owned it? Am I worthy of that self? I miss the self.