When She's Sick I'M So In Trouble - In the Words of a Hapless Husband

When she’s sick I’m so in trouble Rocks my world, bursts my bubble, All at once my head is spinning, Forehead aching, hair fast thinning. I’m not trained to handle chores, Clean the house, go to stores, Cook the meals, feed the kids, My existence on the skids. Give me patience, show me how She won’t quickly disavow This poor man she claimed to love And not give him one huge shove. I’ll do better, I’ll learn fast, Even try to make it last, Wash the sheets, make the bed, Just the thought fills me with dread. Shoulders back, chin protruding, Smile so wide, no more brooding, ‘Yes, My Dear’ the sure answer, Float on air like a tap dancer. Read her cues as if an actor Whatever challenge not a factor, Learn each job just like a pro, Then recount it blow by blow. I adore this girl so much, There’s truly nothing I won’t touch, Clean or fix around the house To be that perfect loving spouse. But God I pray with all my soul That soon you make her fully whole, Please start now and make it fast As for sure I won’t long last.