Westward Movement

The ground is damp
it bleeds through my thin cotton skirt.
Crest born, I sit and wait the dawn.
My fingers weave into the high rye grass.
The house below is quiet still.
The children sleep.
The dog’s with me. 
We sit high upon the hill.

Peaceful heart, Venus I spy
the morning star, the moon, and dawn,
God could see them in my eyes a tilt. 
Barefoot bliss, Champ for a pillow
down I lie and sigh.
The children sleep.
My man’s returned.
Now, we sit high upon the hill.

He lies with me. Grass stains my skirt.
He weaves dewed daisies in my hair.
Crest born we writhe beneath the sky
above our farm on prairie grass.
The house below is quiet still.
The children sleep.
The dog runs home.
We sit high upon the hill.
 

Contest: Into Night's Dwelling
Poet: Debbie Guzzi
Date: 1/8/14
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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Poet Avatar
February 10, 2014 at 12:25 PM
day moon--/in my mind your/last night's words
Pettit Avatar
January 17, 2014 at 11:02 PM
Looks like a fine description of a rustic setting.
Phookan Avatar
January 13, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Wow,, first how you began this! Debbie, Debbie,, love your flow of thoughts in your poem here. Beautiful imagery from start to close.. I liked how you didn't do a Rubaiyat and wrote in Free Verse,, In strict meter sometimes.. it gets cramped in selection of rhyming words and syllables... and here you don't limit your expressions... To my Faves list... love! hugs!
Richards Avatar
January 13, 2014 at 2:31 PM
This feels as if a scene from some wonderful movie I've seen......something beautiful, that has a wonderful soundtrack, but no words need spoken.....just the sound of the wind, and gorgeous panorama...... the night is taking our breath away as we watch. so lovely and serene
Horsman Avatar
January 13, 2014 at 11:39 AM
A poem of a truly amazing poet,, your diversity does you credit, Debbie,,But why am i surprised? i'm not really, but this poem is like a breath of fresh air to me,,,,,,,,
Kendrick Avatar
January 13, 2014 at 6:11 AM
Very imaginative work for the contest..Reads like a winner to me..Thanks for the visit to my work..I am honored that you would have placed my poem higher even if it was just one place..Ha!! Ha!!..Sara
Dunn Avatar
January 13, 2014 at 12:31 AM
Loved it so much i can back to read it again nice write my friend take care and good night until tomorrow
Horne Avatar
January 12, 2014 at 4:23 PM
lovely write, Debs. Thanks - enjoyed the contest (sorry I didn't get round letting you taste Santa's pizza) Congrats on your wins too
Dietrich Avatar
January 12, 2014 at 12:06 PM
This is so interesting, Debs, and very different from the norm in this contest. I love the romantic images in it and the repetition of sitting high on the hill.
Williams Avatar
January 12, 2014 at 7:13 AM
Debbie a wonderful image and I like the way you used rhyme even though it is free verse...I like it a lot...David
Peterson Avatar
January 11, 2014 at 10:09 AM
Very stimulating to my visual way of processing. I also like the repetition of phrases. These make a seem more real and freeze the moment like a beautiful painting.
Dunn Avatar
January 10, 2014 at 3:42 PM
Beautifully romantic write and your vision of nature is spot on great job on this one. Very creative work and i enjoyed reading it alot, yes i wrote mystic rose maji for my gyspy rose lol and she really liked it. i'm go glad of that thank you for your wonderful comment on it. cheri
Macmillan Avatar
January 10, 2014 at 8:55 AM
Sent you an E MAIL... not soupie
Madappattu Avatar
January 10, 2014 at 8:52 AM
Very pictorial..an aura of the emotions..I like this poem
Macmillan Avatar
January 10, 2014 at 7:55 AM
I was going to soupie you and decided I'd rather stop by this poem again. Faved it. It is sooooo different. There is something about the simplicity that is catching and holding me. No fear of repetition (He He THe THe The... perhaps it speakes of how our mind circles memories ... it feels so real, unfettered!!) I want to change the last we to I... ;) .... Hey, I wrote that poem. I hope you like it (fingers crossed) Hugs, Dee... hey if you have a short funny story/observation can you post a blog
Macmillan Avatar
January 10, 2014 at 8:03 AM
Me<---obsessive/compulsive. Can you email me about this poem. 1) How did you come up with this 2) Have you seen this... technique? style? voice?..... anywhere else 3) do you know if 'this' has a name for it? I mean the over-all tone of this verse. Bet, its like the first time I read a modern sonnet. I'm smitten!!!
Macmillan Avatar
January 10, 2014 at 7:58 AM
Nope, read it again for the forth time (:D) definitely we works better, you're right, the repetition ... I was making it more.. ahem.. suggestive. I feel like I want to study this piece. The last poem that affected me this way was one by Carrie. A shape poem about totems.
Chircop Avatar
January 9, 2014 at 11:21 AM
Ow ..I so love it when you let your romantic side flow in such beautiful verses.One for my favs ma
Manassian Avatar
January 9, 2014 at 11:18 AM
Oh, Debbie dear.....You are romantic!!! :) I liked the writhing bit....Yes, I would! Beautiful write...As Cyndi...I'm taken by your use of periods....Your writes are so....unconventional...or maybe I'm SO behind the times...probably the latter. Thanks for always challenging my mind. This gave me a feeling of peace, tranquility and mature love....HUGS
May Avatar
January 9, 2014 at 8:44 AM
I like how you used the refrains ..great imagery...best wishes in the contest
Undertaker Avatar
January 9, 2014 at 4:17 AM
wonderful poem Debbie.I have been to a retreat for some time and couldn't log into PS.Happy new year Debbie. Is there any problem Debbie? PD's poem is full of anger.Kindly console her. (: ) Jenish.
Onclaud Avatar
January 8, 2014 at 10:44 PM
debbie, thank you dear.. there are advertiements on the right side of my contest page.. i tried to fix the format but... but the lines break apart.. will try again.. this one fulfills the rules.. :) huggs
Macmillan Avatar
January 8, 2014 at 8:53 PM
oooooooooooooooooooh, how lovely. Barefoot bliss...mmmmmmm. I like this different structure. Here I am avoiding periods all over the place and here you are making each line SOLID, COMPLETE. There is an intensity there by doing that... Did you just go and teach me something? :-) I'll be perusing your po's now, looking for one for Catie. Thanks Sis... PS.. you may want to read my latest blog
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