We'Ll Call This Relationship Self Mutilation

Were so bi-polar it makes it hard to co-exist the way it feels when we kiss, your hard to resist until you get pissed and decide to raise your fist but i dont flinch, im too used to this **** ill say "go ahead hit me again, gimme a reason to swim in a sea full of vicodin all i need is an excuse, to cut myself open to grab some cash, buy,crush,& smoke this dope"and youll say "girl stop trippin, u cant even be mad its your fault for loving something that hurts you so bad" in the midst of our love theres and abundance of doubt when you make me cry you tell me not to pout and when i ask do you even care how i feel you say thats not what this is about but when your really feeling guilty youll buy an ounce and smoke me out and when i black out, your the only one who can fill in the gaps i can quit any drug but your the only thing that makes me relapse and as i lay in the middle of this floor in heavy sedation i cant help but to think this relationship is self mutilation...