Victim

I've been a victim A victim of my own Self doubt Self pity And self loathing I've let chaos pick me up And up and down Around and around Faster than a merry go round Like the thoughts in my head swirling around I think I may just drown The ghost of a smile? Or just another frown? God I cant take the sound! The sound of the silence Pressing in on me Every breath a labored struggle For sanity to stop being insanity For my unreal reality to some how not be my reality Swimming in an ocean of tissues They say I have issues My friends all think I've cracked My brain is wracked With thoughts and desires You with me and me with you Now just me myself and I As we become I and I The road to Zion stays clear Jah has met me upon the path His eyes a bloody wrath No time to fear Dirty lips with dirty words I am my own messiah I must die for my own mind and sins "Save us" I hear the sovereign plea Of all my dreams Burdened down By bitterness and terror "Save you?" What need have I of dreams? Clothed in rags and fleas Depart from me or die with me! Dreams I cannot eat And I've no effort left to save you If I cannot even save me Listening to the drip drip drip Of another bloody attempt Pain searing in my veins As I knew and Dreamless I wept Until at last I slept With no more fear of waking up