Valsa George Poet Rictameter

Vain Effort

I close
my eyes to fend
off all sad scenes from sight
but my mind is not always shut
it lets the biting ants of pain come in
crawling through every narrow slit
tormenting me endless
in fear, my eyes
I close


Jan.9. 2022

Brian Strand No.1172 Poetry Contest

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Connie Marcum Wong February 18, 2022 at 4:17 AM This is so brilliant for these challenging times Valsa. Beautifully composed! Congratulations on your Second place win. Blessings xxoo

I Am Anaya February 17, 2022 at 1:32 PM A roaming mind, I am very familiar. Love, Valsa Congratulations!

Meghan Hutchings February 17, 2022 at 11:04 AM Congratulations! This is a beautiful poem, and I can completely empathize with the message you're writing about! Great job! Much love...Meghan

Paulette Calasibetta February 16, 2022 at 8:00 PM Congratulations on your win in the contest! Our fears don't vanish when we close our eyes, we only wish they would. :)Paulette

Unseeking Seeker February 16, 2022 at 6:08 PM The nemesis of thought spirals we ourselves manifest. Congrats on your win with this outstanding write, Valsa

Sotto Poet February 16, 2022 at 5:36 PM Back with congratulations on your contest top win. You largely deserve it with this heartfelt Rictameter. My kindest regards dear friend.

Michelle Faulkner February 16, 2022 at 2:33 PM Vivid imagery, especially like 'biting ants of pain' - congratulations on your win in the contest!

Anil Deo February 11, 2022 at 6:14 PM Glad u got richtameter Sad pain the refrain us bitter Gladder still, U know Jesus our Healer

Sam Kauffman February 11, 2022 at 10:16 AM Valsa, you always create such amazing phrases and imagery! You do have a very special relationship with words and word pictures - "biting ants of pain,"crawling through every narrow slit." This is a powerful recreation of your experience. Best wishes for the contest. Blessings!

I Am Anaya February 10, 2022 at 5:30 PM Like your poem, I too am always fearful of life, for I need so much work still. Valsa this is brilliant!

Rico Leffanta February 9, 2022 at 10:34 AM Well done (children innately covere their eyes when they don't want to see something)! Aloha!

Sotto Poet February 9, 2022 at 5:46 AM I'm not familiar with this form, and it appears to be of good quality to me. The emotion you described is one that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. Valsa, I can sense and certainly touch your feelings. Win big

Vijay Pandit February 9, 2022 at 4:39 AM Something we all feel from time to time. I hear and feel the emotions, Valsa.

Victor Buhagiar February 9, 2022 at 2:05 AM A great experiment in poetic form.