Unwritten Absence

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September.27.2023
Unwritten Absence Poetry Cintest
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~ Placed First~

 

For long I have been an aimless vagabond I strayed far, the world being enormously wide. Traveling to lands foreign, I searched my fortune. At the end, fed up with all that was alien, And wishing to withdraw from the world’s bewildering stress, Decided to set out in search of my roots and my people. Parents dead, my faint connections with my folks were gone. My ancestral home was occupied by my brother, With whom I had hardly any correspondence. But when I was choked by thoughts of my dear home And the yearning to visit struck me as an irresistible urge, Without second thoughts, I boarded a plane, And headed to my native village with dreams many. From far I saw my house perched high on a hill, Dappled in grey, squinting across the field. Nearing it, my heart began to beat in pounding thuds, In the excitement of a reunion long overdue. Alas! There was none to receive me, only some creepy spiders, Busily spinning gossamer webs over closed windows Its vacancy haunting me, I tried to ring the doorbell. But the rusted contraption sat silent on the cracked wall. What had happened to the family living here? Have they migrated to some far-off place? A hundred questions propped up in my mind. Wished to ask someone, but seeing nobody around, I stood silent in the weed grown courtyard for some more time. I thought of the heydays of my life, with a deep yearning, To run round the house once more as a child And be under its shelter, to lie down and dream the dreams of old. Everything looked so forlorn. Feeling suddenly orphaned, My eyes got welled up with tears as never before. Hesitant to chew the unpalatable truth that this house will no more board me, Casting one last glance with a heart laden with memories, I turned my back from that spectral home, Which stood silent as a symbol of UNWRITTEN ABSENCE!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023



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Date: 9/29/2023 3:20:00 AM
This is heart wrenching and what a brilliant write. I always appreciate such truth woven eloquently. I felt so much reading this poem. The flow of your words and the descriptive manner you shared this story is truly impeccable! I love it and felt it so deeply in my heart. That ending made me tear up. Sometimes we long to go back and see our roots etc, to only feel like there is nothing left there, so many may resonate with this. so fitting for the prompt. Thank you for writing,congratulations
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Valsa George
Date: 9/29/2023 10:09:00 AM
I am indeed taken by surprise over this win. Thank you so much for rating my poem high. In fact it was with much hesitation that I sent this poem for your contest. Compared to what you write, my poems are so simple, especially this one. You have a generous temperament to appreciate others which is something rather rare these days. However Poetry Soup has a culture of encouraging everyone.
Date: 9/27/2023 8:11:00 PM
so sensitive and touching poem, so many questions " lurking" ? around, i felt the abandon of these people, the desire to fly away, this is beautifully written, un a perfct language, thanks a lot Valsa
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Date: 9/27/2023 6:33:00 PM
Wow! Absolutely riveting story -- I felt the longing, the sorry of the writer, and desire to recapture, if just for a visit, a far simpler and more supportive, loving past. Incredible write! You get a FAV!
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Date: 9/27/2023 12:48:00 PM
I've always been an aimless vagabond... This is an excellent poem that has been written with so much emotion,, in each verse there is so much to take in... im happy this is not unwritten or absent.. Good luck in the contest..
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Date: 9/27/2023 10:58:00 AM
Yeah, once homes are abandoned, its hard to revive them by a single person. Nice poem, GL in contest,
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Date: 9/27/2023 7:40:00 AM
Valsa, your poem has transported me to a world that is richly adorned with captivating imagery. It is a masterpiece that beckons me to immerse myself in its beauty and feel every emotion as if I were physically present in the scene you have painted. Your thoughts brim with untapped passions, leaving a lingering sense of longing in my heart. Truly, your words have woven a tapestry of unfulfilled emotions. BOL with the contest
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Date: 9/27/2023 6:18:00 AM
I am mesmerized. You are a very good writer. I can relate to this piece having gone back to my home town. Everything seemed bigger than life when I was a kid. Going back I realized how small my world would have been if we had not moved away.
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Date: 9/27/2023 5:33:00 AM
One yearns for the past. I happened to have the same feelings as I went past my old home marked for sale but in a dilapidated state. Your thoughts are full of unfulfilled emotions. Best for a win.
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Date: 9/27/2023 3:23:00 AM
Wow! A great take on the theme, Valsa:)
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Date: 9/27/2023 12:08:00 AM
Valsa this is beautiful and engaging. I love and feel as if I was standing there with you. Enjoyed
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