Untitled Life

My fear turns into doubt, choking me endlessly! 
It is a struggle to breath something that builds up inside of me.
Leave me alone!
No!
Come back please stay!
Are they lies?
Are they true?
I need to know what is real or not!
Are you playing me like a game on Saturday night?
It seem easy for you to hurt me like I am a dart board in front of your face!
You throw something sharp at me and WAM!
It pierces right into my heart bulls eye, congratulations! 100 points for that.
Go ahead try again go for my soul this time!
Just crush who I am.
It's okay I won't cry.
Not for you, not this time!
Jab me, poke me, call me names!
I don't care I'm not to blame!
You hate yourself I can see that now, it's not me I wouldn't cut you as deep as you cut me!
I ache and strain myself bending my mind around it everyday.
I wake up, I am afraid to rollover and see your face!
In my dreams at night is where i am most happy.
I am not afraid with my eyes closed.
There in my dreams I am whatever, where ever, and with whoever I want!
If I could sleep the days away into the night I would be happy!
In my mind where some of my deepest and most private thoughts lurk, waiting for the right
time to jump out and shout surprise!
A place where when I wake up and rub the sleep out of my eyes, I won't be afraid and I
won't hide.
A place where fear doesn't exist and the pain subsides, where fear lets go and I can
breath again, where you cannot hurt me because I won't let you in.
My own sanctuary where I am happy and safe from harm.
This is my untitled life.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Agustin Avatar
April 20, 2026 at 7:56 AM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
A   Avatar
March 12, 2016 at 10:48 AM
well done Amanda.. LINDA
A  Avatar
July 21, 2015 at 4:32 PM
AMANDA, Stopped by to say hello, I enjoyed reading your poem today. FOREVER <3 SKAT"
Shango Avatar
March 24, 2009 at 12:25 PM
From inside ... isolated ... do we become priests and say benedicition over our desires? Good write.
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