Unreliable Ride

My memory is like an ill-tempered old car that refuses to start on cold, miserable mornings... or sometimes stutters and shudders to life in fits and starts with rattling parts Names and faces of those behind me shrouded and clouded in thick exhaust fumes 'til memory resumes and smoke starts to clear ...oh, what was the year? Then suddenly (without warning) the engine revs high, and I start to fly downhill fast, into the past brakes not responding, gripping the wheel too much to feel that terrible fear- stuck in high gear... Old trauma impacts like a car crash re-living events that don't always make sense deadly debris and jumbled bits of trash litter my head, feeling half-dead confused, in a mild state of shock Although a car is a useful thing- sometimes it's safer to walk!