Unreliable Ride

My memory is like an ill-tempered old car
that refuses to start
on cold, miserable mornings...
or sometimes stutters
and shudders to life
in fits and starts with rattling parts

Names and faces of those behind me
shrouded and clouded in thick exhaust fumes
'til memory resumes and smoke starts to clear
...oh, what was the year?

Then suddenly (without warning)
the engine revs high, and I start to fly
downhill fast, into the past
brakes not responding, gripping the wheel
too much to feel
that terrible fear- stuck in high gear...

Old trauma impacts like a car crash
re-living events that
don't always make sense
deadly debris and jumbled bits of trash
litter my head, feeling half-dead
confused, in a mild state of shock

Although a car is a useful thing-
sometimes it's safer to walk!
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Pigeon Tart Avatar
September 7, 2018 at 6:39 AM
Holy cow! Almost need a trigger warning on that one lol! Crazy good, all too relatable. Going in the faves... xomo!
Mcferran Avatar
September 7, 2018 at 9:29 PM
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it- your comment made me laugh! ;D This one surprised me (as my best poems generally do)... I had started trying to write for a contest prompt and it suddenly took on a life of it's own! Although it probably wasn't what the contest was looking for, I'm so glad it turned out as it did.
Mcferran Avatar
September 1, 2018 at 7:00 PM
Thank you! I finally took your advice and entered a contest (on Remembering) & this just sort of evolved...
Krutsinger Avatar
September 11, 2018 at 3:36 AM
I am PROUD! Feel like a mama grandma to you Rhona!
Krutsinger Avatar
September 1, 2018 at 6:28 AM
Rhona, you have taken us into a mind and shown us exactly what we feel when we are struggling to recall something, and also reminding us that when we get into the past, the memories we remember the most well are often the memories that hurt us the most intensely. Well done, my friend! Such a great missive!
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