Unloved Lovable Me

I wanted to love myself
But couldn't get past my reflection
or the recollection
of all my imperfections
It was so much easier 
to turn my back on myself
and go in a different direction

So I poured out myself to others
by giving what little I had to them
I did it over and over again
Singing their hallelujahs and amens
Nothing was real 
they weren't really my friends
It's tough to find my lovable
looking through my distorted lens

One day I looked inward
past the constructed facade  
Found my true self  
a lovable child of God
Now I'm fine with imperfect 
It's okay to be flawed
It doesn't even matter
If others think I am odd
The ones who truly know me
celebrate and applaud

They don't expect me 
to be a certain way
or within a box to lay
They see past my clinging to yesterday
and the silly pretend role I used to play
The past is the past 
not a place I was meant to stay
Thank God He helped me 
to throw my false self away!
Now with thankful heart
I've learned how to pray.


This transformation took place back in my early twenties. Thankfully it made life a whole lot more interesting.

I was inspired to write this after reading my friend Eileen Manassian's poem "I Resolve"
I therefore dedicate this piece to her.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Mc Mills-Cooper Avatar
October 6, 2016 at 8:20 AM
Wow, now I feel compelled to go read Eileen poem. She does very nice work! This was a very good poem Richard. A nice snapshot if you will. Very nice work! MC
Hamilton Avatar
April 6, 2016 at 10:21 AM
Seems like we lived parallel lives, really Identified with this one, great job! Amazing how God can transform us from within.
Bankson Avatar
March 31, 2016 at 9:34 AM
Amazing piece again good sir!
Manassian Avatar
March 29, 2016 at 9:53 PM
Richard...I'm so touched by this poem. I'm so touched. Your acceptance of yourself is something that I want to grasp. I want these lines to ring true for me. I resolve...but resolutions are often broken. Thank you for the reminder. Thank you for being in my life. Bless bless bless you. Hugs
Manassian Avatar
March 29, 2016 at 11:13 PM
Awww....thanks. That did me a world of good.
Lamoureux Avatar
March 29, 2016 at 10:01 PM
Welcome back Eileen, it's not the same here without you. Hugs Rick.
Nance Avatar
March 29, 2016 at 6:49 PM
wow, amazing start and an amazing you. Hugs xx
Lamoureux Avatar
March 29, 2016 at 10:01 PM
Thanks and hugs back Casarah.
Chircop Avatar
March 27, 2016 at 10:10 AM
Oh Richard ,your transformation not only changed you but it changes those who read you through..What an amazing message in this poem.How wonderful to learn to love our imperfections.Its those imperfections that help us judge less and love more..Eileen is going to be thrilled.I met Eileen and her family..She is beautiful inside and out.Her family are lovely people to know.It really has been one of the hifhlights in. my life meeting them.Might see Eileen later today again. Happy Easter : ).
Lamoureux Avatar
March 27, 2016 at 10:45 AM
Give her a big hug for me! Hugs to you too!
Fiery Avatar
March 27, 2016 at 12:31 AM
Richard, you have inspired me so much with this piece..It made me feel good abt myself...I really really appreciate your work ...This poem should be a wake up call for everyone...bravooooo !!!!!!! Hugs Red
Lamoureux Avatar
March 27, 2016 at 12:41 AM
It's very freeing when you have friends that you can just be your goofy self with. Thanks for the visit Red. Hugs Rick.
Barry Avatar
March 26, 2016 at 10:53 PM
I feel you Richard, glad your here now.
Lamoureux Avatar
March 27, 2016 at 12:41 AM
Thanks Timothy.
Bentz Avatar
March 26, 2016 at 3:36 PM
Beautifully written!
Lamoureux Avatar
March 27, 2016 at 12:42 AM
Thanks Bobbi Jo. ;0)
Tacito Avatar
March 26, 2016 at 2:47 PM
Not surprised by who inspired this, at all. Eileen has that effect on us so strongly. The rhyme flow here is very, very eloquent.
Lamoureux Avatar
March 27, 2016 at 12:42 AM
Hi Drake, so good to see you back, how have you been?
Turner Avatar
March 26, 2016 at 8:44 AM
To love oneself and remain humble. Daunting for most people as Mr Ego usually makes an appearance. But you have humbled yourself before the Creator and he has shown you the right way. I not only respect you as a writer but for being a man of conviction. Peace my friend:)
Lamoureux Avatar
March 26, 2016 at 10:04 AM
You are kind Daniel. What do any of us have to brag about? For all our abilities and talent flow from our Creator. I appreciate your thoughtful visit.
Vaso Avatar
March 26, 2016 at 12:10 AM
A very inspiring poem, whatever path you have taken, I can say, what a well grounded kind person you are, and I would hazard a guess always have been! Your introspection is insightful and humbling!
Lamoureux Avatar
March 26, 2016 at 10:05 AM
Thanks my friend. Take care.
Bear Avatar
March 25, 2016 at 4:46 PM
You were always loved you just never saw it till God showed it to you. It has made you an exceptional man and some one who should be proud of who he is. Thankfully we can overcome the past. Love Mom
Lamoureux Avatar
March 25, 2016 at 6:25 PM
Sometimes we don't see what's in front of us. I know you always have and always will love me. It was dad that made me feel unlovable.
Smith Avatar
March 25, 2016 at 11:06 AM
I don't think you are odd at all Richard. You are a man of conviction who is proud to be exactly the way you are. No pretending...great dedication.
Lamoureux Avatar
March 25, 2016 at 6:27 PM
I think each of us in our own way is a bit odd, it's what makes us interesting. Thanks Tim.
Lane Avatar
March 25, 2016 at 10:16 AM
Stripping off the old self and becoming a better person is a blessing, and with His help we keep looking forward and improving the person we are. No one can plow a straight row if he keeps looking behind himself. You are a loveable sort, Rick. I've read you and recognize your kindnesses. Thanks for posting this expose' of yourself. Hugs.
Lamoureux Avatar
March 25, 2016 at 10:27 AM
I like your metaphor. Thanks for such a thought provoking response. Hugs to you as well Lin.
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