Unloved Lovable Me
I wanted to love myself
But couldn't get past my reflection
or the recollection
of all my imperfections
It was so much easier
to turn my back on myself
and go in a different direction
So I poured out myself to others
by giving what little I had to them
I did it over and over again
Singing their hallelujahs and amens
Nothing was real
they weren't really my friends
It's tough to find my lovable
looking through my distorted lens
One day I looked inward
past the constructed facade
Found my true self
a lovable child of God
Now I'm fine with imperfect
It's okay to be flawed
It doesn't even matter
If others think I am odd
The ones who truly know me
celebrate and applaud
They don't expect me
to be a certain way
or within a box to lay
They see past my clinging to yesterday
and the silly pretend role I used to play
The past is the past
not a place I was meant to stay
Thank God He helped me
to throw my false self away!
Now with thankful heart
I've learned how to pray.
This transformation took place back in my early twenties. Thankfully it made life a whole lot more interesting.
I was inspired to write this after reading my friend Eileen Manassian's poem "I Resolve"
I therefore dedicate this piece to her.
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