Ungrateful Vortex

don’t know if I was raised better because I was taught worse or was I taught better because I was raised worse Kept clean, fed and together and safe but the only thing taught was how to hide the pain and fake a smile. Spent my whole life building this wall. The only thing I was taught for survival is the gate to my downfall. Never dealt with anything so to feel everything is like our lungs breathing in pure oxygen. First deep breath I take everything becomes slow motion. Before I can even finish my inhale this force starts growing in my chest. I can feel my heart beating faster and faster. 3 seconds go by and I feel my lungs expand beyond their limits before I can release the pressure Before I can exhale My lungs explode I can’t breath My heart is still beating but I can’t breathe I feel everything My hearts going crazy Not use to this much purity all at once My mind told me to take small breaths at a time Can’t take it in all at once but when everything is connected when does the inhale end? What does my exhale elucidate?? When do I breathe again? My mind can’t focus it’s too much going on, My anxiety steps in with the answers to everything Take a deep breath and don’t deal with anything