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don’t know if I was raised better because I was taught worse or was I taught better because I was raised worse 

Kept clean, fed and together and safe but the only thing taught was how to hide the pain and fake a smile. Spent my whole life building this wall. The only thing I was taught for survival is the gate to my downfall. Never dealt with anything so to feel everything is like our lungs breathing in pure oxygen. First deep breath I take everything becomes slow motion. Before I can even finish my inhale this force starts growing in my chest. I can feel my heart beating faster and faster. 3 seconds go by and I feel my lungs expand beyond their limits 
before I can release the pressure 
Before I can exhale 
My lungs explode 
I can’t breath 
My heart is still beating but I can’t breathe 
I feel everything 
My hearts going crazy 
Not use to this much purity all at once 
My mind told me to take small breaths at a time 
Can’t take it in all at once 
but when everything is connected when does the inhale end? 
What does my exhale elucidate?? 
When do I breathe again? 
My mind can’t focus it’s too much going on, 
My anxiety steps in with the answers to everything 
Take a deep breath and don’t deal with anything

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