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Undeceived

Just let it go.’ Easier said than gone - ‘You’ll be nothing without me, says pain, ‘I’m your identity.’ Well, listen up, old man of the sea, she’s dislodged you, uncurled her spine from the burden of you; spat you, shat you out, delivered you, ectopic cuckoo, to sprawl helpless on the beach. What will you do now? Scuttle sideways, find another hollow person to crawl into? But you’re fading, dissipating, becoming nothing. The shoreline will be clean of you. She can see so far across the water.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 3/11/2024 11:45:00 AM
Dear Lost Poet, the exquisite potent pointed pain of your verse found the bull's eye in my being as the poetic arrows found their mark. Such rich, creative imagery like "uncurled/her spine from the burden of you" and "Scuttle sideways, find/another hollow person to crawl into" - this allusion to a crab was ingenious! The touch of internal rhyme "spat you, shat you out" was scornful, evocative and attention grabbing! Congratulations for your win in Charlotte's contest. This piece is amazing in its raw yet savvy expressive power. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
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Date: 3/11/2024 9:51:00 AM
this is very contemporary, hard hitting, gritty, it packs a punch, and the opening line is clever; a very interesting piece - congrats on your win
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things