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TWO ENGLISH SONNETS - WITH APOLOGIES TO SHAKESPEARE

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN Jim’s fallen head over heels for a girl, He’s forgotten his mates; they’re in limbo One whiff of her scent, his head’s in a whirl But why did he choose Sue THAT blonde bimbo? Like a shadow they are never apart Stuck together tightly with superglue This bleached blonde airhead has stolen his heart Jim bade all his old friends a fond adieu Every single day they are together Still they only have eyes for each other Arms wrapped around her, true love forever Jim wears jumpers knitted by his lover! On bended knee Jim gives Sue a huge ring He splashed all his cash to buy her some bling WHEN A WOMAN LOVES A MAN Sue won’t hear a bad word about her Jim, with rose coloured glasses, Sue is blinkered He lets out huge farts, but Sue will just grin She just giggles and calls him a stinkard! Jim snores like a steam train, he never halts Sue turns over and pulls up the covers She totally ignores all of Jim’s faults They’re besotted since they became lovers Jim’s mates pity him; he’s under the thumb With a ring on her finger Sue’s smiling They are contented and Jim’s never glum Sue adores him; she thinks he’s beguiling Forever in love through good times and bad Sue chose Jim because he looks like her dad! Two English Sonnets Contest Sponsored by Mark Massey Two Sonnets written with my sincere apologies to the Bard! Checked with how many syllables 10 per line 12~14~16

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 1/8/2017 8:17:00 AM
Coming back with congratulations for you,Jan... HUGS :)
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 1/8/2017 8:19:00 AM
I'm so glad I took the plunge and put them in the contest as I shy away from writing this form:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/17/2016 8:16:00 PM
I checked and saw nothing amiss, dear one, plus I read two sonnets with great appreciation for their humor and off-handed poetic lines. I don't know what to do with this contest, but your imagination did not let you or your readers down. I didn't even see the 'gas' coming, and with you I always should! HA CayCay
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/18/2016 8:02:00 AM
Ha Ha ... I really should steer clear from mentioning farting in my poems but these things tend to have a habit of slipping out lol:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 8:50:00 PM
the meter might be off in some parts, but you did a VERY creative and original take on this difficult theme, Jan. I applaud you for taking a topic not so fun to do and making it really REAL. SEVEN cu
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/17/2016 4:20:00 PM
Thanks Andrea, I struggle with this form I just hope the sponsor likes humour:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 8:50:00 PM
My cat made the CU part up here by the computer with me. haha. Isn't that funny. My cat wants to see you!!!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/17/2016 4:21:00 PM
ha ha ha I guess I better say a big hello to 'Andrea's pussy' lol:-) hugs Jan xxx
Date: 12/14/2016 10:23:00 AM
No worries, Jan. : ) Shakespeare - The Comedy of Errors: "A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind, Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind." (Better for someone to lie to you than to fart near you.)
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 10:43:00 AM
ha ha ha thanks for breezing in with your comment Doug I feel better about my poem now lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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Doug Vinson
Date: 12/14/2016 10:26:00 AM
King Lear: "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks!" Hahahahhaaa
Date: 12/14/2016 9:55:00 AM
I'd stay this is a stinker...lol! But really, I adore the clumsy duo! I wish them well, and you in this sonnetsational contest! 7 from me.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 10:43:00 AM
aww thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/14/2016 9:01:00 AM
Jan your sonnets are so fun and delightful best of luck in the contest ~
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 10:43:00 AM
Thanks so much Constance:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/14/2016 6:43:00 AM
Ha, sounds like she got the raw end in this deal but she did get a ring. : ) Funny Jan, it is a poem that makes the reader forget he or she is reading because it seems so real and genuine and honest and stinky. :) All kidding aside, this was fantastic. It really seems like something that could have and probably has happened. Shakespeare is smiling right now.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 6:48:00 AM
He's probably turning in his plot at a sonnet mentioning the passing of wind lol:-) I shy away from writing this form but when i got inspired it just flowed with humour. I'm not sure what Mark will think of it lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/14/2016 5:31:00 AM
- You impress me, Jan .... two really gorgeous sonnet - A 7 X 2 ! - Good luck in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 5:39:00 AM
They are fun Anne Lise I am not sure if it will float Mark's boat but I sure had fun on the theme lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/14/2016 4:13:00 AM
Love 'em Jan, and what Frederic says: what the heck, go for it girl ;)
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 4:45:00 AM
I struggle with the form so thought I would go for humour - why not funny sonnets eh lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/14/2016 3:24:00 AM
Really enjoyed these well written sonnets Jan, good luck in contest.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 3:43:00 AM
Thanks Roy they may be a little different to the more traditional romantic sonnets but I had fun:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/14/2016 2:54:00 AM
Wow... Two great sonnets... Thank you for sharing... I loved it... A big 7...
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 3:23:00 AM
Thanks Supraja:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/13/2016 10:17:00 PM
these are really funny and well done so what the heck... I enjoyed them ...good luck
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/14/2016 3:20:00 AM
I struggle with writing this form Frederic so just thought I would have fun :-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/13/2016 7:27:00 PM
Glad it wasn't Tim...really great Jan...cant wait to read your next 9 posts
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/13/2016 7:29:00 PM
ha ha ha I WILL change it to Tim if you don't behave. Gee it took ages to write this - just one poem a day and one account is enough for me lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/13/2016 7:17:00 PM
WoW! Jan, you have penned some great Sonnets. I enjoyed the different perspectives. I liked the "realness" vibe that this poem gives. The touch of humor is so you. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/13/2016 7:17:00 PM
I'm not sure it's what the sponsor is after so I will graciously accept an N/A but I did have fun with this tongue in cheek poem lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/13/2016 7:12:00 PM
You have done an exceptional job, Jan! And funny to boot! Well done!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/13/2016 7:18:00 PM
Thanks Rick I had fun here - am not sure if Mark will appreciate humour though lol:-) hugs Jan xx