Turmoil

Why doesn't life always go the way you plan I was sitting in our hotel room relaxing with my man My sister rings my mobile with some awful news There is a tough decision and now I have to choose Dad's in hospital and mum put in local nursing care I am in a quandary should we stay here or dash back there I was desperate for a short break after my husbands cancer We thought a four day holiday would be the simple answer Yesterday was a day of an extreme high and low Met up with an on-line friend I had a rosy glow Then I get the bad news my heart is filled with gloom Now I'm sitting wide awake in my hotel room Made the tough decision to stay and have our break They are being cared for and my sanity is at stake Some people may not understand why I don't flee The answer is simple - they really don't know me Jan Allison 2nd May 2014

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Richard Lamoureux

Date: 5/4/2014 9:04:00 AM

I am moved by your heart felt write and the accompanying outpouring of support. It appears a lot of people know you. I add my prayers and ask God to give comfort to you and those you love. I'm sorry you were unable to fully enjoy your time with your dear husband, still it is good that you can offer each other support and comfort at this difficult time.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2014 9:10:00 AM

Some decisions are so hard to make and it has been the hardest one of my life, but it was done for all the right reasons - I need to be well to be able to continue to support them. Thanks for the kind words and prayers they are so much appreciated. Hugs Jan xx

Jake Ponce

Date: 5/4/2014 8:32:00 AM

Hi, Jan! Thanks for dropping by my page. This piece has me in awe. The way you have articulated these goings on really grabs the reader and shakes him/her. Moreover, I pray you're alright.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2014 8:42:00 AM

Thanks Jake. We are at the airport at the moment waiting for the flight home - it's going to be a tough time but being able to express my inner thoughts has done me the power of good. Hugs Jan xxx

Cherl Dunn

Date: 5/3/2014 7:48:00 PM

Life seems at times nothing but a place of hard choices, but you have to have a break once in awhile you did the right thing don't beat yourself up about it my friend, cheri

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2014 9:37:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment Cheri xxx Jan xx

Mel Merrill

Date: 5/3/2014 1:51:00 AM

Yeah, my friend. You are facing a tough one. I know, because I faced a similar dilemma years ago. I still don't know if I made the right call. Maybe there is no right call; maybe there's just the call, and you live with it. You have my prayers and best wishes, if that helps at all. Love and hugs :) Mel

Jan Allison
Date: 5/3/2014 3:50:00 AM

Means the world to me Mel :-) Hugs my friend Jan x

Cecilia Macfarlane

Date: 5/2/2014 5:43:00 PM

Jan, my heart hurts reading about your turmoil. These few days away is much needed and will give you the strength to get through what lies ahead. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2014 7:35:00 PM

Thanks Cecilia for those comforting words -its not been an easy decision but i know its the right one so i will be stronger when we get home. Hugs Jan xxx

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 5/2/2014 4:14:00 PM

Hi Jan, Such decisions are very hard to make and you need to be prepared for hardships by keeping your mental health and outlook as good as possible. Prayers are coming for you and your parents. It seems you have a lot of friends here who are offering support and that is good. Blessings, Carolyn

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2014 7:34:00 PM

Thanks Carolyn - I know in my heart I have done the right thing and i am truly blessed by the amazing friendships i have since joining here in February. it will be Tuesday at the earliest before dad is going home so I am happy it is the right thing for all of us. Hugs Jan xx.

Jack Ellison

Date: 5/2/2014 8:01:00 AM

Oh my dearest Jan... my heart aches from hearing of your unbearable situation. If it's any solace, I, along with so many of your friends here on Poetry Soup are with you spiritually! I send you and your family members all the love I have to give and wish for a lessening of your sadness! If only I could be transported over the miles to give you a great big hug! Your friend for life, Jack XOXOXOX

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2014 9:15:00 AM

Thanks dear Jack I'm trying to enjoy being here had great day visiting archeological museum but on the way there a busker was playing piano accordion music which reminded me of dad and set me off - since them have been fine - off to an irish pub tonight to hear some irish music should be fun :-) thanks for being here for me jack. hugs your cyber sis Jan xxxxx

Casarah Nance

Date: 5/2/2014 5:55:00 AM

(((hugs))) I am sorry to hear about the situations life is throwing at ya. A million hugs. It is okay to rest though, you can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself first. Lots of positive thoughts and prayers go a long way, and I'm sending out a bunch for you my dear. I hope you can feel these hugs. (hugs)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2014 9:12:00 AM

Thanks Casarah - this place and the people mean the world to me. Hugs Jan x

Robert Pettit

Date: 5/2/2014 12:02:00 AM

I am sorry to hear about your bad situation. I will pray for you also.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2014 12:06:00 AM

Thanks Robert i do appreciate your kind words. It's so hard to make the right choice but I need to be strong for when we get back. Hugs Jan xxx

Deborah Shiells

Date: 5/1/2014 11:43:00 PM

Hi Jan, Also wanted to say you and your family are in my prayers.Too Peace, Deborah

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2014 12:04:00 AM

Thanks Deborah It's amazing the feeling of peace and calm you get when others are there for you. I do appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Jan xxx

Tim Smith

Date: 5/1/2014 11:41:00 PM

My prayers are with you and your family Jan.....hugs Tim

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2014 12:00:00 AM

Thanks Tim dad sounded chipper when we phoned the ward - it's just guilt on my part -torn in part at the moment. Big Hugs thanks i so need them :-) Jan xx

Deborah Shiells

Date: 5/1/2014 11:41:00 PM

Hi Jan, You are a great great writer My friend~ This is so full of emotion and life and sadness. I hope your heart has some kinder days and I'm glad to have been introduced to your wonderful poetry. Thanks for sharing this touching poem. Peace, Deborah

Jan Allison
Date: 5/1/2014 11:58:00 PM

Thanks Deborah. Its a tough call but i so needed a break and now this - the emotions are running high. I know some people would criticise my actions but the stress of living through hubbies cancer takes it toll and i needed total get away. parents will be ok they are being looked after - its just a guilt thing now. Hugs jan x