Trying To Get To Cleanse

It has been a while since I've seen a smile asceticism to clear out bile Now all the while I sit and wile, the hours away cause I'm all about play. lemonade maple and pepper to rinse away the sins of my wasteful existence Of eating **** and getting tan; of missing school and having senseless intercourse. . I stopped calling friends I stopped eating food. I only drink syrup, lemons and fire. I start to meditate when the day starts I can't wait; but how long will it last with out bowel movements; am I really human? I'm on day 5 and having nightmares after surprisingly mild hunger pains; I'm tearing open my chest for an alien to bed down with straw in my empty intestinal track. I start to eat again too soon, call back up my *****y girlfriend, and quickly gain 20 pounds of fat. Now I'm a realist no longer conscious; I threw out my resume, I gave up on cosmology. I don't go outside, I envy the man who dies; I'll never try again.