Trying To Buy Happiness

Been depressed lately so I reached out and got a counselor to help me reach out of my own diminishing thoughts Been buying a lot lately because my girl said I never do anything for myself So, I'm spoiling myself, so they don't find my flesh spoiled already Today my life was worth $74.65 On a rainy day I stuck my tongue out and rain came down on my taste buds instead of falling from my eyes And it was the first time I felt something in a long time I go days on days being numb to life as of late Waking up late and never trying to sleep in My mood is in a rut I never been this stuck Slipping so far, I can't even hear the music anymore I'm trying to hang on for another day Sometimes it's like people only see my ghost so they treat me like my feelings are invisible No, I'm not doing good, no I can't do good, no I heard it from others But I heard it from myself more There has to be more Drake said more life But I'm seeing fewer chances and less days on the calendar My life feels like it's in the wrong hands So, I want to it, into my own hands just to say I'm in control Losing control Taking votes for my soul The world looks so dull And the rainbows are all black, and black is beautiful until it's all you see Been depressed lately p.s. hope this is not the last thing I see