Tripped

sitting here thinking of everything and you, sitting here and wishing i would think of something new, i thought i was on your tail but i got raptured in your glue, the boobie traps you've left so i wouldnt find another clue so here i am again filled with this guilt and shame, i may have made the choices but i refuse to play your game, you can ask whoever, they would be doing just the same, but if it will make you feel better i will shoulder all the blame i search for ways to escape, trip, down the rabbits hole i fall, i know just what is happening i embrace it with no stall, i walk through shapes and shades of light, until i hit the wall, but the wall is not a rigid shape, it seems rounded like a ball searching for a doorknob it's so dark i cannot see, through my mind flows thoughts of places that i'd much rather be, while im not confined in any way, i yearn still to be free, As the knob reveals itself, i find it's locked without a key, in a way i am relieved, you never know the other side, it could contain every regret all the things i've tried to hide, it may make me relive my pain and hurt from when i've lied, instead i'll just go with the flow coming and going like the tide soon the feeling subsides, normality reclaims its space, i can feel it pouring out of me, feeling it flow out of my face, i dont remember much about the other world, but i know prefer this place, so i keep up my floating, trying slowly to restore my faith.