Humphrey Haji Luvumbi Poet Free verse

Trauma and Denial

When I was young, I was too good at hiding pain
That's why they assumed I never hurt 
And they went on to throw more blows at me
Cause that's how they were dealing with their pain 

I'd smile like the good boy I was
Thinking that somehow I was doing good 
Only to realise year's later
That it's left many scars that I can't just heal 

Now when I show some pain
I'm seen a weaklin thats why they go as far as, 
saying that I caused it to myself 
Everyone washing their hands off me 

And they're the first to tell me to heal
How can you heal if everytime you tell your story
They make it seem like a made up story
It's like they were blind for all my life 

And what hurts is how they create this picture
Of how I owe people around me for my strength 
They've forgotten that I'm self taught
No one showed me to look the other way when I get hit 

But I keep writing cause it hurts them
Hurts them to see that what they've lived to know
Was a lie they told themselves so that they sleep well
When deep down they know they've never been there for me
It's been me all along 

The PO£T

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