Transmutation

there's a sense of inexistence something tentative, undecided less ethereal, more under scrutiny in the wrong place, by halves I can't check the paperwork or speak to someone in charge I see through, but I play along the knowledge doesn't change the construct I'm here, going through the motions but I disappear in dreams am gently held and reassured in beauty I've changed, conscious difference is a key I'm stillness and calm encasing chaotic questioning I see more clearly more often the people, the places make more sense my eyes will open and I'll take my first real breath when the time is right